Ancient Kings
by SaoryEmanoelle
Summary: A different beginning for the "Thor" movie. When Thor and Loki were only children Loki's real father, Laufey, took him back to his Realm to live with his own race. Now, about to become the King of Asgard, Thor still finds himself struggling to live without his little brother, forever lost... But can fate keep the ones brought together since so long away?
1. Chapter 1

Since his childhood, this day haunted his dreams and lifted his hopes and efforts to its maximum, making his heart beat with joy and determination. Every training he took, every single drip of sweat and blood, it had all been for this day, his day of triumph, the so waited occasion, the biggest dream of his life which was now found staring at him, just a few feets away. He, the God of Thunder, son of Odin Allfather, was going to be coronated king, King of Asgard, king of the mighty Realm known for its deeds and for its glory achieved through time. Since his childhood, this day had haunted his dreams and lifted his hopes... He should be feeling happy.

So why was him, the Thunderer, feeling so empty and upset on this one day?

He walked around the long corridor he was in, just waiting for the right time to enter the large and golden arena where Odin would give him the right to rule over the Realm. Even though he feared his son's pride would not allow him to rule with the will the Asgardians needed, he truly believed he was changing and was now ready for what he was intended to. What Odin did not know was that Thor was no longer a little boy and things he had not understood in the past were now clear to him, things that made him burn with rage and sadness. No matter how much the God of Thunder tried, he would never forget. He simply could not forget...

"_No! **No, they can not do that, I will not let them!**" Thor yelled to his father who was now standing next to the creature that had scared him for so long. The king of the Frost Giants, King of Jotunheim, Laufey stood still, simply watching as his rightful son buried his face into Thor's arm, the future King of Asgard holding him as strong as he managed to._

"_Thor-" Odin barely started speaking when Thor stepped back, Loki still wrapped into his arms, protected by the only one that had always been there for him, loved by the one that had always sworn to protect him from all harm. _

"_B-Brother, please, do not let me g-go!" Loki cried, his whole body trembling as he hugged his big brother, seeking for safety. Thor cuddled him and stared back at both Kings who were still simply staring at them, watching. He could not believe in what was happening, he could not believe their own father would let someone take a member of the family away so easily! _

_"Why, dad? Why are you doing this? He is my brother, dad, please, I want him to stay!" Thor said holding his tears as much as he could. He did not want Loki to feel scared! Everything would be alright, he knew that, and he wanted his little bro to feel the same way. But the look that fell over him drove away all of his hopes and he instantly let the tears flow, bringing Loki closer and closer as if he could avoid this miserable fate with his bare hands. Odin sighed, destroyed in the inside, but Thor just would not listen to his words and it was with a terrible pain that he took the smaller boy into his arms by force, hugging him one last time before letting the Jotun carry him back to the freezing lands of Jotunheim._

"_**Dad?!** **Dad, please, do not let him-**" A twelve years old Thor begged as tears streamed down his cheeks, screaming with hate as his atempts to reach his brother became futile. Loki started screaming with pure horror as the monster he grew to hate held his hand with violence and walked away without looking back. He cried and begged and the whole time stretched his arms in order to hold his big brother's hands that tried to bring him back. Before he even had time to call him one last time, however, he felt his body fly through thousands and thousands of years light away and as he landed on the cold land, he knew it was all over for him._

_Thor punched Odin's arms that tried to contain him, freeing himself and running after the Jotun on his own. But they had disappeared faster than he had realized and he fell on his knees, sobbing endlessly, an unknown pain hitting his heart as if a sword had teared his whole world apart and he called his little one's name for hours and hours, just hoping, begging he would come back..._

_Even though he knew that was impossible._

Thor sighed, holding these memories back in an attempt to stop the tears from flowing. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to ease the pain while he still had time. The so waited day of triumph would not have too much of an effect over him and he realized he did not feel happy at all.

For how could he feel happy without the one he loved the most?


	2. The Trade

The sun was shining brighter as if the whole existence was cheering up for this day. Hundreds of Asgardians had been gathered and smiled with joy, men and women waiting for the son of Odin himself. As for Allfather, the King of Asgard stood still, sitting on his throne, as he expected his first born to arrive. Around him, The Warriors Three shined in their golden armours, Fandrall sharing good news with his allies while Lady Sif, the Godess of War, stood next to Frigga. Soon enough, the arena burst with excitement and joyful screams echoed through the Realm as Thor Odinson lifted the magical hammer, Mjolnir, above his head.

As he approached his father, throwing Mjolnir in the air, laughing and screaming along with his friends, only one person realized there was something wrong. Thor could be excited and more amazed than ever but deep inside there was only a shadow. Something was missing and even though he tried to cast light over that shadow, it was hard to look at the throne and see there was an empty spot next to his mother. All of these smiles, all of this joy, it was all a mask, hiding the hurt man that was not sure about becoming a king. He had waited for this day during his whole life but it was as if he was not complete. It was, however, his duty to protect Asgard and, still covering his true self with this mask, he knelt in front of Allfather, laying his helmet and Mjolnir on the floor.

The moment Odin got up and hit his scepter on the floor, everything went silent. Everyone and each one of the present Asgardians were now staring at him, the one who led their armies into battles, always coming back with victory. The elders still remembered his own coronation and they still remembered how, through his whole rule, he had never failed his people. And now, seeing their King's son, Thor, the God of Thunder, preparing to ascend to the throne was an occasion never to be forgotten.

"Thor Odinson... My heir... My first born..." Odin spoke, his eyes shining and lips trembling with pride as he stared down at his son. To see his boy, now a man, about to become a King meant everything for him for even though he was a king he was still a father and felt as such. However, as Frigga looked down at her boy, she realized something different about his expression...

"So long entrusted with the mighty hammer Mjolnir, forged in the heart of a dying star" Odin continued, his powerful voice resonating through every single one present "His power has no equal. As a weapon to destroy or as a tool to build. Does a fit companion for a king..."

King. The word raced through Thor's mind as a shooting star, crushing his thoughts into thousands of shards, his heart suddenly filling up with a little bit of happiness. Mjolnir had been with him for a long time and only he knew how to take it to its full potential. Even though the shadows of the past still haunted him, he needed to be ready for the future after all...

"Do you swear to guard the nine realms?" Odin asked him, the silence now filled with an excitement about to burst through the arena at any second.

"I swear!" As the king of Asgard, he would have amazing powers aiding him. Perhaps, as king, he could...

"Do you swear to preserve the peace?"

"I swear!" Perhaps he could rescue Loki by himself!

"Do you swear to cast aside all selfish ambition and to pledge yourself only to the good of the Realm?"

"I swear!" He screamed with joy, the idea pounding with violence in his mind. He had never even dared to defy his father and king but as soon as he became King he would have the control. He would have the right to force his way in Jotunheim and-

"Then on this day, I, Odin Allfather, proclaim you-"

Odin's heir smiled, feeling relief. He would be an amazing king, he would make sure of that. Plus, he would, no matter what happened, bring his brother back. It was the perfect decision, the-

"Frost Giants" Odin whispered and in an instant all of his thoughts were gone as Odin Allfather hit his scepter on the ground once again, awaking the well known guardian of their vault... Thor felt as if his heart had stopped beating.

* * *

Both of them entered the room. It was slightly dark, its stairs and walls covered with ice, five dead bodies scattered around it, their two guards killed by the enemies, the enemies themselves killed by the Destroyer.

Thor stared with horror to the scene developed in front of him. The Weapons Vault, the most prized room in the castle, the place where their strongest weapons were kept... Invaded by Frost Giants. Frost Giants, all of sudden, who had come without anyone noticing them and breaking into the place with such ease. It was unnaceptable and unbeliavable for that to have happened in such a time...

"The Jotuns must pay for what they have done!" Thor said, still shocked.

"They have paid with their lives. The Destroyer did its work, the casket is safe and all is well" Odin answered calmly to Thor's despair.

"All is well?" He questioned, wroth. "They broke into the weapons vault! If the Frost Giants had stolen even one of the relics-"

"They didn't!"

"Well, I want to know why!"

"I have a truce with Laufey, King of the Jotuns"

These words brought every single thought of the day back to Thor's mind. The Thunderer closed his eyes, the sudden realization of what had happened hitting him with impetuosity as he turned his back to the Allfather, avoiding any possible eye contact.

"And why did that happen, father? The truce, why have they broken your truce?"

"This was the act of a few only, doomed to fail"

"You do not understand, do you? You think I still do not understand what kind of truce you stablished, don't you?"

This time Odin stood silent. Thor took a deep breath waiting for an answer but as he realized he would not be having any, the words instantly left his already trembly lips.

"That day... When you let them take him, it... It was a trade, was it not?"

He turned to face Odin. His blue eyes shined with hate and a feeling of betrayal took over him again, the same feeling that had made him feel hurt whenever he remembered, whenever he felt the last desperate embrace his little brother had given him before being taken away...

"You... You traded him for peace, didn't you?" Thor accused, tightening his fists with sorrow "You traded Loki for peace, **didn't you**?!"

"We had already stablished the truce when I found him abandoned in the land of Jotunheim, he had nothing to do with that"

"You were seeking for a **permanent **peace at that time! When Laufey came into our Realm, you let him take Loki away without even questioning!" Thor said in a harsh tone, already letting the tears fall as he felt his body start shaking with sadness and disgust.

"The only reason I brought Loki to our Realm was to protect him! He was abandoned, had been left to die and I could not leave him alone. But Laufey is his rightful father and if he wants his son to be with him, I cannot take that right away"

"He had been **left to die** by his **own father**! You are lying to yourself, thinking you did the right choice but you are **wrong**!"

"I would not have let Laufey take him if I was not completely sure he would be safe!"

"You let an innocent child go with the one he learned to despise, the one who killed many of his people! You let him go even when he **begged **you not to do it!" Thor could barely breath through suffocated tears. Sobs were overwhelming him but the pain was too strong to keep it... "Maybe you were not his real father but you **made him believe you were**! **You made all of us believe so**!"

"What happened today has nothing to do with-"

"If they dared to break our truce... Father, how can you not understand?!" The God of Thunde punched the now freezing wall, not caring about anything else. The realization of what had probably happened made his lungs fail him and through immeasurable tears he cried "Loki was traded for peace between the Realms! He was the prize and if there is no longer peace, then..."

He covered his face with his free hand, not believing in what his heart was telling him. If anything had happened to his brother, if they had... A greater emptiness took over his heart and he asked the heavens for the safety of his beloved... And yet, Odin said nothing. He just stared at him, cold, watching as his world fell appart. Feeling even more crushed inside, Thor took another deep breath and stared deeply into his father's eyes, as a razor cutting through the very skin.

"You had no right to do that to him... You had no right to take him away from his people, from his mother... You... **You had no right to take him away from me**!" Were his last words before he left the room.


	3. A Price to Pay

_20 years ago..._

An agonizing cold took over his small body as he fell against the ground, the shiny shards of ice cutting through his fragile skin, his eyes shining with fear and pain. The little boy looked up hesitantly, barely seeing anything through the dense wind that raced through the Realm. Before he could stand up on his own, a strong hand grabbed him by the arm and forced him up, panic returning to the boy about to lose control of himself.

"No... No, please, let me go...!" Loki sobbed as the creature next to him forced him to walk, entering the dark Realm he had always feared and that was now engulfing him. He could not understand what was going on, he could not understand why his father had done nothing to protect him. The sorrow felt too heavy for his small lungs and he coughed desperately with the sudden lack of air.

"T-Thor... Please, b-brother, where are you...?!" He called as his legs gave in, too weak and scared to continue. Before he could even gather some air, however, a movement pushed him back as Laufey held his arm with violence, forcing him to stand up once again.

"**Stop whining, brat**!" The Jotun King ordered with anger, staring deeply into the shiny eyes of the boy. It was when Loki stared at his own arm and an unknown strenght made him free himself, falling on his back, his heart beating faster and faster as he screamed, panicked.

"W-what have you done to me?!" He questioned as he realized his skin color becoming that of the monster in front of him. In his innocence, he wondered if he was freezing, not being able to think straight and, as Laufey saw the confusion in the boy's face, he smiled sadistically "**W-what have you d-done to me?!**"

"It seems you spent too much time with these damned Asgardians..." Laufey said to himself as he watched Loki's skin losing its blue tone "It will not take long before you are invulnerable to cold again but, until then, you may keep this armor of yours"

"W-What are you talking about?! Let me go, I want to go home!" He yelled, blood rushing through his veins and making him feel dizzy. The blood red eyes stared at him and the deep voice made his heart stop beating for a second as simple yet tearing words reached his ears.

"**This **is your home" Laufey told him with a masochist smile.

"W... What?"

"And Odin calls himself a man..." the Jotun mocked, staring down at the child who looked about to faint "What did he tell you? Did he even tell you anything?"

Loki was still in shock, trying to get up but falling as his body felt too heavy for him to move. He tried to speak but only half words left his mouth. Odin had only said he would have to leave but did not have time to explain the reason... He gulped, feeling sick.

"You are not an Asgardian, kid" Laufey told him, coldly "You are and have always been one of us, a Frost Giant, adopted by the Allfather because he felt sorry for you. No wonder he let go of you so easily... How could the Allfather be satified with a weak and stubborn child such as you?"

Loki's green eyes lost a little bit of the life they had. His uncontrollable sobs returned as he searched for any trace of a lie in the creature's words but did not find any. He... He did not know what to think, did not know how to react, did not know what to do, he... He wanted to go home...

"You are my son, Loki!" Laufey said and his name sounded evil and dark pronounced by the monster's lips "You are my son and future King of Jotunheim. You shall be trained into our ways and if you can make it you shall, one day, become the ruler of our Realm. But for now, you better **stop crying **and act as a real man would!" He finished his sentence, once again grabbing Loki's arm with violence and dragging him along. The boy tried to flee once again but in vail. Defeated, he finally gave in and tagged along with the tall monster, still not believing in his lies even though they still hurt... Hurt as if they were true...

They walked for what seemed like hours and Loki still felt terrible. The cold was severe and this horrible pain present on his mind and body grew stronger. He saw shadows walking on the walls, approaching, staring and then leaving once again and, before he could avoid it, he was searching for safety under the Frost Giant's arm, holding him as strong as he could as if he was not as menacing as the other things in this Realm were. But Laufey did not return the act and did not care about the child at all. There was only one reason for bringing him here.

They reached a small fortress made of ice, arrows and swords on the walls ready to taste the blood of whoever dared to enter their Realm. The fortress seemed to be empty but as soon as they arrived more giants appeared out of nowhere, the shadows Loki had seen a while ago. They were all really tall creatures, their naked chests blue as ice covered with scars, a simple vestiment covering their waists. The creature's blood red eyes glowing in the darkness, they all approached their King, Loki instantly hiding behind the man's back. Apparently, all of them had been waiting for his arrival for no one seemed surprised when they saw the boy.

"Are you sure he is the one?" One of the Jotuns asked, making fun of him "He is a little... Tiny"

The others surrounding them laughed. Laufey said nothing and pushed the boy forward, leaving him in the center of the circle of the dozens of Jotuns. The poor little boy looked around in despair, trying to figure a way out but nothing came into his mind.

"Do as your King has commanded" Laufey said suddenly and turned his back to them, leaving without a single trace of remorse. Lost, the once adopted son of Odin turned to face his foes gathering around him with deadly smiles shining on their lips.

"We shall make a great warrior out of you, kid" One of them said and, in a way that made Loki shiver, turned his right arm into a sharp piece of ice, followed by the others next to him "It is very simple. Survive this first trial and you shall have you chance. There is not a second option"

Loki strumbled on his own feet, falling on his back and watching as the creatures approached him, laughing, smiling, feeling pleasure in the boy's panicked face, his eyes once again filled up with tears, all of his hopes gone. "No, no, please, don't-".

A deeply painful scream was heard as a blade went through his right leg, more sorrowful tears leaving his eyes, all of his thoughts driven away by the insane pain that threatened to defeat him. Another sudden movement against his face and he closed his eyes stronger than he had ever done, a long and deep cut going from his forehead to his lips, the wounds dripping blood faster than he thought they would. Instantly impaired, he tried to get up with his left leg and, seeing no other option, called the only one able to help him now.

"**F-father, help me!**" He called, the fear driving his body and forcing him to stand up, the Jotuns suddenly stopping following him, as if enjoying his foolish attempts to flee. Almost crawling, he reached the King of the Frost Giants who had turned around to face him and, desperately grabbing his legs, begged for help "T-They are going to k-kill me, father, please, h-help me!"

Laufey held him up, the little boy's naturally blue skin now shining under the dark red liquid that poured from the long cut over his face. His red eyes were not as dark due to the amount of tears covering them and for an instant Loki saw sympathy on the monster's eyes... But that did not last and, before he could even understand what had happened, he was thrown against the floor, his chest tasting the pain delivered by the King of the Jotuns bare hands, the little boy's armor not enough to protect him.

"You are alone from now on. Learn to take care of yourself or die trying!" Laufey said in a superior tone, turning around and following his own path while, behind him, a little kid chocked on his own tears, tears of grief, tears of pain and solitude. He could not walk properly, his vision had been obscured by his own blood and now his teared chest made it harder for him to breathe. The maniac laughter coming from the warriors in front of him made his heart beat with violence and he felt his throat suddenly getting dry. Before he even attempted to get up, a strong kick was struck against his stomach and he twisted around his own body, imploring for air.

"You have heard your King, boy" Another Jotun started saying, smiling "Which path are you going to take?"

Loki coughed intensely, the whole world spinning to his eyes, unknown faces staring at him with a cold desire to inflict pain over him. He tried to attack one of them by kicking them but the move only allowed them to cut his other leg, the boy launching his head against the ground, hopelessly crying for help...

"Now let's see what you are going to do without any of your legs, brat!" The youngest of the warriors said and, with no mercy, put his foot against Loki's neck, strangling him little by little as he tried to free himself, inaudible words leaving his mouth. Fighting against the pain, he tried punching the infractor but the lack of air was already killing him and he had no strenght left to fight. The jotun, however, instead of killing him in such a way, let him gather some air before another warrior sliced his armor and took it off him, his nude and bleeding chest now also being punished by the harsh cold.

"D... Dad..." The boy called, losing counsciousness. This time however, he was not thinking about the one that had brought him here... He was thining about Odin, thinking about how he would play with him during the night before he fell asleep, thinking about how he had done anything to keep him safe during all these years. Then why... Why had he let Laufey take him so easily?

He tried getting up once again but another attack was struck on his back and he fell with his face down, suffering, fighting to breath, to survive. He could not hear the laughter so well and he also could not see anything clearly but, as he opened his eyes and saw someone in the distance, he trembled in relief and stretching his small arm, now terribly and fully cut, tried to hold the hand that also tried to grab his.

"B... Brother..." he whispered, his tears dripping on the ground as he hallucinated from the blood loss, desperately trying to hold his brother's hand without knowing he was not really there. Thor had come to save him as he had always done. He would be taken home, he would be taken back to his family and everything would be fine. His heart fought to the extreme, keeping him awake in his innocent try of reaching his big brother but his wounds and the deep weariness had already taken over him "B-Brot-"

A sudden and hard attack was inflicted against his head and his lifted arm, which had been trying so hard to find safety, fell dead againt the cold ground of Jotunheim. His small body no longer trembling, he no longer felt pain nor sorrow. His eyes, which had turned back to green as he saw his brother, now laid slightly open, cold, staring into emptiness, its last tears falling down his cut cheeks and his hand, once so eager to hold himself into his brother's arms, simply laid on the ground, his brother never to feel them again.


	4. Despair

His head resting against the golden pillar, Thor stared affectionately to the small wooden sword tightly held in his hand. The miniature had been given to him on his 8th birthday, handmade by his little brother and given to him by himself. The letter "L" and "T" shined, handwritten over the litle sword. It was such a simple gift yet it meant the world to him. He still remembered how it felt to receive it. _"You made this by yourself?'_ He had asked the little boy, his small hands full of cuts.

"_Happy birthday, bro!" _Loki exclaimed, hugging Thor tightly. He had retrieved the hug and had lifted him up in a way he knew he enjoyed, the wind playing with his dark and smooth hair.

"_Thank you, little brother!"_ Thor told him and smiled. Since that day, he had kept the small sword with him. After he was taken away, Thor would leave it under his pillow, somehow finding comfort in the object while his brother was away, still believing he would return home one day...

Thor smiled, his lungs aching due to his constant and desperate cry, a sudden tiredness taking over him. He could not find a reason to resist any longer. The only thing that had ever forced him to go on – Even if he had never told that to anyone – was the belief he had that he would, one day, meet his beloved brother again. Now, in face of what had happened, he felt hopeless. Holding the small sword carefully, as if taking care of it could protect his little one, he took another deep breath and was about to give in to his tears once again but he heard footsteps and so he held them. Only one person had ever seen him cry... And that person had left twenty years ago.

"Where have you been?" Sif asked, staring at the lonely man who refused to look her in the eye. Sif and the Warriors Three had all gathered in the room but only the Goddess got closer to him. She held his face and forced him to look at her "You have been crying!" She exclaimed, feeling a sudden sadness overwhelm her.

"Leave me alone, Sif. All of you" Thor asked and turned his back to them, the miniature of the sword still protected in his hand. He did not want their simpathy, he did not want their compassion, he did not **need** them.

"Allfather..." Sif continued as the others looked at each other with hesitation "Allfather told us what happened"

Thor did not look back. The anger and hate were still burning him, he wanted and needed to be alone for a while. "I'm sorry... I know you have been waiting for this day for a long time"

Thor sighed, tired. So, that was it. Odin had told them about the Frost Giants and that was all? He stared down to the floor, feeling betrayed once again.

"Did... Did he tell you about Loki?" he asked shyly, nothing else finding a way into his mind except from his brother's face, a cheerful and mischievous smile playing on his lips. To think about how that happiness and peace had been taken away from him by his own father made his head ache and he felt his hate for Odin grow stronger.

"Yes..." Sif answered and a harrowing silence fell over them. She did not know what to say to him, she did not know how to bring him comfort even though she knew there was no way anyone would be able to do that "I am sorry, honey... I truly am"

Thor closed his eyes, cursing himself as his eyes filled up with tears once more. He was supposed to be strong, to be ready for pain, to be ready to be a King! But even though these thoughts came into his mind, he did not pay attention to them. This pain was different from anything he had ever felt and it was killing him inside out. He could barely imagine what Loki had gone through, the despair he had felt when he was taken away and how he had expected someone to go and save him. Thor opened his eyes and, his hands trembling, looked down at the small object in his hand, remembering that day...

"Thor, I..." Fandrall started, cautelously. Whenever they needed a laugh, he would be there, making fun of everything and making things lighter for everyone. However, whenever someone needed a friend, he would also be there, mature and understanding, not criticizing. Just listening and trying to help... Exactly what Thor needed "I am sorry for what happened to your brother. As you well know, we also lived with him, he was a friend and when he left we all found ourselves lost. But, even though the apparent proofs may lead to such a thought, you cannot be completely sure of what happened."

Thor gulped, thinking about what Fandrall was saying. The truce being broken lead to the terrible thought that Loki had been killed, their part of the deal now worth nothing, the only thing that had prevented the Frost Jotuns from invading Asgard. As much as he tried to think the opposite, something terrible was building into his heart and a bad feeling covered all of the positivism he once had.

"Fandrall is right" Volstagg started, approaching him "I mean... None of us has ever been to Jotunheim. We do not know what that place is like, we do not know how do they react to certain issues. What if Loki is alive?"

"And even if he is not..." Sif interrupted, the Warriors Three staring at her with disgust. They had all been trying to build some hope into the poor Asgardian Prince and yet she dared to destroy everything "What happened in the past was not your fault, Thor. You should not blame yourself for it..."

"I do not blame myself" Thor answered, a single tear running down his face, a determined expression covering his eyes "If... If **Allfather **had done something, he... Damn, how did they get into our Realm in first place?! Years ago my father brought Laufey here but what about now? Without the Casket, without their most powerful weapon, how did they do such so easily? Not even Heimdall could see them!"

"There must be another path other than the Bifrost into our Realm unknown even to the Guardian of the Realms. Somehow, they managed to cross it, and when they were noticed, it was already too late. Only The Destroyer saw them and you already know how he deals with intruders" Volstagg said.

"But there must be a way to find that path! If they are able to come whenever they want, they can surely return one day. What if they do so but next time with an army?" Thor inquired but when he turned around to face them disappointment hit him hard in the chest. He could clearly see that none of them had thought about that neither found it likely to happen. It was impossible to hide his deception.

"Have you spoken to Allfather about that... Possibility?" Sif asked, trying to sound respectful.

"No... And I shall not tell him anything!" Thor said, getting up and staring to the Bifrost, far away from his reach "It would be a loss of time"

"But then... What are you going to do?" Fandrall asked, searching for support in Hogun. The Grim, however, stood in silence, serious yet watchful. He did not question anything.

"I... I need to find out about what happened. I... I shall go to Jotunheim!"

"You cannot go to Jotunheim! It is extremely dangerous!" Volstagg exclaimed, staring back at his comrades, all of them agreeing with him with a silent nod.

"It will be even more dangerous when they get hold of the Casket!" Thor returned, furious. He thought someone would believe in his word,s that someone would fully support him but he realized he was alone "But that does not matter... I am going to Jotunheim and I will not return without answers!"

"It is forbidden!" Sif stated, not even the conviction in her voice making Thor change his mind.

"I need to go, Sif. My father may not be willing to help but I am and I will make sure nothing like this ever happens again!" Thor concluded, picking up Mjolnir and leaving the room without looking back. It all happened so fast that it left the four warriors confused and only a few seconds later they realized it was their duty to go after the Asgardian Prince. No matter how stubborn he was, they simply could not let him go alone.

For them, of course, he would only be trying to prove himself a good king, he would be trying to prove Odin how he was right about protecting their people and about defeating the Jotuns once and for all. But none of them knew that such thoughts had left him a long time ago. The real reason for him to go could not be understood by them, not in the way he did. In the end, he would break the creatures' spirits into pieces and he would finally and definitely have his vengeance. For his brother.


	5. Guilt

"**Leave me alone! Go away, I hate you! I hate you!**" Shouted the twelve years old Thor Odinson, trying to keep distance from the King of Asgard, the real monster of the story, the one that had done such a cruel decision and yet showed no remorse. Stumbling on his own feet, he refused to stop running even though his lungs were already burning and there was no breath left, Odin right after him. They were not far from the castle but Thor felt as if no matter how much he forced himself to run he would never reach his goal. Without realizing, he entered the long corridors of the Asgardian castle but the pain prevented him from focusing and he only fully opened his eyes after bumping into someone and as he saw who that was, he wrapped his arms around her waist in a hopeless attempt of finding comfort.

"W-why, mother? W-why my brother, mom? T-tell me why...!" He yelled and shouted, coughing, his mind and body way too heavy for him to bear or even to comprehend, the desperate screams of his brother echoing in his ear, the afliction burning in his eyes as he felt the creature force him to walk. Frigga stroke his hair with care, her own heart dwelling with sorrow as she held the dense tears that tried to stream down her face. She held her little boy closer, her white dress now soaked his tears and she closed her eyes, not knowing what to do.

"Thor, sweetheart, look at me..." She whispered in a controlled voice, affectionately forcing him to look up. Before she could say anything, however, he burst into uncontrolable sobs, his light blue eyes lost in darkness, searching for a shine of hope in her own.

"P-Please, mother, we have to save him! They are going to kill him, mother, please, d-don't let them!" Thor begged, trembling as a madman, a terrible and deep guilt building up in his heart. He buried his face into his mother's abdomen, ashamed of himself, ashamed of what he had done and as someone approached him from behind he turned around only to jump back in fear and disgust, terrified.

"No, no, **no, get away from me, leave me alone**!" He shouted hysterically, searching for safety in his mother as Odin slowly approached him, his dark blue eyes drowning in sadness and pain as he watched his son avoid him as if he was a threat. The Allfather kept on going with care, whispering his son's name softly but his screams were too loud and he refused to pay attention to what the King of Asgard had to say "How could you... **Why **did you...?"

"Thor..." Odin tried once again, trying to comfort him but he simply denied to stay near the man. Grabbing his mother's arm with force, the never ending tears still running down his red cheeks, Thor swallowed his sobs, nervous, hateful.

"**Did you not see the fear on his face?!**" Thor shouted, a burning sensation crepting around his neck, the air heavier "**Did you not see his despair?! You could have helped him, dad, WHY didn't you**?!"

Odin froze, trying to keep controll as Thor lost his own, trembling with pure hate and crying with sadness. Thor would never understand, no matter how much he explained...

"You dishonor everything you have taught us!" Thor continued, now facing Odin alone, staring into his eyes as if he could tear his very soul apart "Never leave a man behind! Never abandon your best friend, he is your brother, take care of each other**, love each other, comfort each other because no matter what happens I'll always be there for you**!" The 12 years old boy screamed and cried the words, fast and desperately, his following coughs hurting his lungs, the pain growing even stronger and making him feel sick. Cold sweats covered his face and when he realized he could not take it anymore he fell on his knees, covering his face with both of his hands, the shaking making him lose focus. Odin felt desperate and scared but before he could do anything else Frigga told him to leave.

"I will talk to him. Please, go" She said and kneeled next to her son who drowned in angst, a terrible bad feeling hitting him with impetuosity. Hesitantly, the Allfather left, letting a single tear fall from his eye as he turned his back to his first born. Quick enough, Frigga wrapped her little boy into her arms and, cuddling his hair, tried to calm him down.

"Thor, honey, honey, hey..." She tried to call him, patiently, understandably. Through violent coughs and hiccups, he finally managed to look back at her and her heart ached by the mere sight of her little one's tired eyes.

"M-Mother, t-they have taken L-Loki to Jotunheim, mom, they are going to k-kill him, mom, please, we have to do something, please...!" He begged, feeling as if time was running out somehow.

"Honey, listen to me, come on..." She asked him and looked into his eyes trying to bring back the joyful light they had, a fooled attempt to make him calm down. Odin was suffering and so was she and Frigga realized she could say nothing more than the truth "Your brother will be fine, they will take care of him."

"No, they will not, mom! They are Frost Giants, mother, **why can no one understand**?!"

"Thor!" She called once again, hoping he would pay enough attention. But it was to no avail.

"Please, mother, promise you will come with me! We can talk to them, we can bring my lil' bro b-back!"

Frigga sighed, about to lose it all. Odin was unfortunately right; there was nothing more they could tell him for now.

"Thor... Loki..." The Goddess started and, her hands over his small shoulders, the painful truth left her lips "Loki is not coming back."

The coldness that fell over the little boy's head would never be explained. For a few seconds, he simply stared to the woman, his only ally now turning against him in such a way. A dreadful lack of air got the best of him and he started panting constantly, not believing, refusing to believe in what had happened, refusing to believe he would not find Loki in his room again, refusing to believe they would never practice together, refusing to believe... Refusing to forget... He did not know how he had gotten up after hearing these words, he did not know where this agony had come from and, before he could even focus, he found himself in his room, locking up the door and laying his head against it, taking long and deep breaths in order to calm himself down.

Fearing what he would find, the 12 years old Thor turned around, slowly, laying his back against the wall and feeling as if he would faint as he stared to the floor. He and Loki had been playing a few minutes ago. Dozens of toys were scattered next to their beds, miniatures of warriors and archers along with some horses and dragons. Both had been playing the good guys and had to work together so they could face the flying monster in the end. But then they had decided to continue later and went to play outside, in the gardens... It was when...

Thor kneeled next to the miniature of a dog which had been placed next to their heroes as a sidekick. Both loved dogs and wished to have one. Mother have even said she would try to find them a puppy which they would be able to play with and-

Then reality punched him hard in the chest and he lost balance, looking around in a mad attempt to find what was missing in the place. The lack of air returned stronger than before and he could even hear his own heart beating with force against his chest as he searched desperately for something. Thor felt lost, lost in his own shadow, in his own mind, and he innocently called a name, in such a low and sad tone that not even he managed to hear the word.

"Loki...?"

He sat on the floor, hugging his own legs in search of comfort. He was no longer crying but there was something killing him inside out... Something that he realized was fear. He looked around once again, fearing something would grab him from behind and take him away, fearing that he would never see his family again... He buried his face in his crossed arms, trying to control the shaking of his body until he saw a small wooden sword laying over his bedside table and fell his heart fall even deeper into obscurity. Barely able to stand on his feet, he picked up the miniature of the sword with his trembly hands, the letters "L" and "T" shining with happiness in contrast with the melancholy that roamed free through his room. An intense bad feeling took away the last bit of light that shined through the letters and, as much as he fought against it, he couldn't take it anymore. Hugging the small object with force, as if protecting it, he let himself lay on the bed, fresh tears taking away the last bit of energy he had. The hiccups became more audible as he literally screamed in pain, rolling over his bed but never letting go of the small wooden sword Loki had given him for his birthday. His little brother's despair once again filled up his mind and he could almost feel his small hands holding him, searching for safety, begging to stay. The last time he saw him, the way he tried to grab his hand, the way he called him, everything teared Thor in the inside with violence. If only he had been stronger, if he had tried harder, perhaps... It had all been his fault.

Loki would be killed... And it was his fault.

"I-I'm so sorry, brother..." Thor cried to himself, hoping Loki could, somewhere, listen to his words "I-I'm so sorry for letting go..."


	6. Gone

_"I-I'm so sorry, brother... I-I'm so sorry for letting go... I'm sorry for not being strong enough..."_

Thor sighed as the scene repeated over an over again in his mind, the wind blowing against his face cold and severe, his heart beating faster due to expectation. The horses were running as fast as they could, the five warriors heading to the Guardian of the Nine Realms as he stood on the Bifrost, silent but watchful. As they got near him he spoke despite their surprise and his eyes fell heavy over the Prince of Asgard.

"Never has an enemy slipped my watch until this day" Heimdall, the Gatekeeper, said in a serious tone, already knowing where they wanted to go. "I wish to know how that happened"

"Then tell no one where we have gone until we have returned. Understand?" Thor asked him, stepping forward in order to stare into his eyes. He had never feared the Gatekeeper but he knew he would have to if anything lost control under his watchful eyes. As Heimdall said nothing, allowing them to pass, Thor entered the circular golden area, the basis of the Rainbow Bridge, followed by the others.

"Be warned" Heimdall said after hooking his sword into the pedestal, the walls of the room spinning with such incredible velocity that it created a path through the very space, the door to Jotunheim now open to them "I will honor my sworn oath to protect this Realm as its Gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, Bifrost will remain closed and you will be left to die in the cold waste of Jotunheim"

The tension grew stronger as he spoke. It was not supposed to be like that, Thor thought to himself as his body shivered with fear. He was not sure about entering the Frozen Lands, he feared what he might find... But now it was too late and as Heimdall kept on speaking, the only thing he could think about was, once again, Loki's scared expression as he left him and a gruesome and terrible image of his small body laying on the ground, lifeless, made him shook his head. No, he could not be dead. That was just his mind playing tricks on him...

Or perhaps it was something warning him of what he was about to find.

"I have no plans to die today!" Thor said, trying to shake these thoughts away, focusing about his goal. He would find his brother and try to help him, bring him to Asgard and never let go of him again.

"None do." Heimdall answered simply and before the solid truth was completely understood by the God of Thunder, the five warriors were thrown into the vortex, sending them in a matter of seconds to the freezing lands of the Frost Giants. When Thor finally fully understood Heimdall's words, he was already being punished by the cold that hit his face with violence and the deep silence covered his ears in a second. They all looked around themselves, watching the frost mountains crack and fall, the echo of the impact the only sound in the dark Realm.

"We shouldn't be here" Hogun said, sensing the danger they were in. But they had gone too far to stop now and Thor anwered with the only words that were now pounding in his mind.

"Let's move"

As they walked, looking through caverns and beneath rocks, the place seemed to become more menacing as if they were being watched. Sif, even though disagreeing deeply with the idea, walked next to Thor, ready to protect him if needed – He was, after all, her future King. But although the Warriors Three stood alert to any sound or movement, Thor kept on going forth without thinking about anything. He simply kept on going, his uncontrolled heart making him feel queazy.

"Where are they?" Sif questioned, breaking the silence that put pressure over them.

"Hiding. As cowards always do!" Thor emphasized his last words, trying to look calm and prepared. But he was not prepared and he was growing tired of wearing this mask for being the son of Odin. He was tired of trying to be brave and strong, tired of being a future king. He wanted to scream and to let all of his fears out, a terrible bad feeling creeping through his neck and making him shiver once again. Something was telling him that something would go wrong or even that it had already gone very wrong a long time ago. He was afraid... Afraid of the truth about to face him.

"You have come a long way to die, Asgardians..." A deep and tense voice echoed from behind a pillar as they reached the place. Surrounded by ice and snow, it felt as if they had entered a small and menacing arena, as if something could simply surround them and prevent them from escaping. Hesitantly, Thor answered.

"I am Thor Odinson!"

"We know who you are..." The voice said.

"How did you people get into Asgard?"

"The house of Odin is full of traitors..."

"Do not dishonor my father's name with your lies!"

"Your father is a murderer and a thief!" The voice said and now its utterer got up, staring down at the creatures that had dared to enter his Realm. It was impossible to forget that face and those eyes. It was still the same, the same as it was twenty years ago and Thor felt his heart sink, begging for strenght as the one who had taken his brother away from him seemed to have taken all that was left of him. Laufey, the King of Jotunheim and the Frost Giants spoke "And why did you come here? To make peace? You long for battle. You crave it! You're nothing but a boy trying to prove yourself a man..."

Thor took long and deep breaths as he stared at the creature in front of him. Surrounding them, dozens of Frost Giants got ready for battle, just waiting for any orders from their King. The warriors Three and Sif sensed Thor's fear and so did they fear what was possibly going to happen...

"Obvious, isn't it?" Laufey continued, smiling sadistically to the man that had felt such a urge to face him, now finding it difficult to even speak "You do not really care about that matter, do you, Odinson? There is only one reason for you to have come here, is there not?"

"W... What do you... I-I have..." Thor began speaking but did not make it. His comrades stared at each other in a deadly surprise as they realized Thor had never faltered in battle. But right now he was trembling and the magical hammer in his hand did not look as menacing as it should, Laufey's maniacal laughter echoing through the place.

"So, you have come all of this way only to find something? Or, should I say, someone? Such a pity..." He finished, turning his back to Thor who finally found his voice once again and shouted at him.

"Where is he?! What have you done to him, where is Loki?!" Thor asked furiously, comprehension hitting his friends. The four of them now stared back to the Frost Giant, waiting for the answer. But the way he stared back at them, his red eyes shining evily, made them wish he did not answer.

"The boy? Oh, you should have seen his face..." Laufey started, laughing to himself. Desperation took over Thor and he lost focus, the air getting heavier and his mind once again told him something had gone very, very wrong... "The way he begged for mercy... The way he shouted and called for your name, truly believing you would come and save him... Poor innocent soul."

"**Where is he?!**" Thor cried, the last bit of control he had forever gone. That was worse than pain, it was worse than anything he had ever experienced before. It was **torture**, fastly killing him as he stared into the brilliant red eyes that had stared back at him.

"His panic-stricken eyes, oh, they shined more than they had ever done before because of the tears... First, his legs... Then the rest of his body..."

"You have tortured him! **You have tortured him, where is he now?!**"

"And then..." Laufey continued as if he had not had any interruption. He closed his eyes, remembering the desperate screams he heard all those years ago, and smiled "'He will come', he whispered to me. 'My brother will come', he kept on comforting himself as we kept on tearing his fragile body piece by piece..."

"Stop... Stop, stop, **stop! Tell me where he is now, Laufey!**" Thor implored, his legs about to give in as the image of what Laufey had done filled up his mind and heart and he felt about to faint. He could even hear Loki's voice, such a innocent boy, breaking under such cruel circunstances, losing himself in his miserable fate. _B-Brother, please, do not let me g-go!, _he had cried years ago, and now these words twisted the Odinson's very existence, blaming him.

"It was a trial, you see... To see if he would be able to survive in our Realm and in our ways..." The King continued and stepped forth in order to make sure Thor would see him smiling with pride "The boy? Dead. Killed the same day he arrived. Agonizing as he drowned in his own blood after I **sliced his neck with my own hands**!"

The Thunderer, his eyes open wide as he received the answer, failed in holding back the tears. His own life, everything... It was all gone.


	7. The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing

Dead... Killed with his bare hands... Left to die alone... And he had passed away still calling for his brother's name. The God of Thunder felt as if being engulfed by shadows and darkness controlled his heart with no simpathy. By impulse, a maniac instinct getting the best out of him, Thor launched Mjolnir with all of his strenght against the King of the Frost Giants, the coward creature hiding himself behind the frozen walls. In a second, all of the present warriors raced after them and, their arms now turned into sharp shards of ice, tried to bring them down. The Warriors Three were ready in seconds and soon enough brought down many of the creatures while fighting bravely. The Goddess Sif joined Fandrall in a fast and menacing fight, not least than twenty Giants willing to kill the man with no mercy. As Thor felt the magical hammer once again in his hands his body burnt with hate and pain and a menacing desire to avenge his best friend turned him into a killing machine, breaking and smashing anyone and anything that entered his way, Mjolnir spinning in his hand, the power of lightning running through his veins.

Laufey watched everything with care, his men falling one by one as simple five warriors raced against them. It was revolting to see such a thing happening, knowing that once they had had the full control of the situation. The Casket, however, was still out of their reach and, after what had happened during their try of rescuing it, hesitation was starting to controll his people. Now, the God of Thunder fought against them all with violence and it did not take long before the ground was filled up with dead bodies.

The Thunderer looked around him, Mjolnir tightly held in his hand, craving for battle. His blue eyes now obscure stared into each one of the monters' souls, hating them, hating himself for allowing such a thing to happen. He advanced once again, throwing giants against the walls, their screams taking over the place as more and more of them arrived from far away, alerted by the calls of their brothers. There was no way he would let them live; he would exterminate their race and they would regret what t-

A fast and strong kick on his back sent him flying against the ground as one of the coming Jotuns decided to attack him first. He fastly got up, picking up Mjolnir and using it to hit the creature but he was too fast and dodged his first attack, hitting him in the stomach and his left arm with no hesitation. Mjolnir fell on the ground but before Thor could pick it up a strange force wrapped it and as he tried to touch it as violent pain hit him, burning his hand. He could not use Mjolnir anymore.

He turned his head to stare at the Jotun who had done that to him and could not help but realize he was not as tall as the others were. In fact, he was even shorter than he was and also not as strong as he should be. But his red eyes and his blue skin showed what he really was and a long knife made of ice suddenly appeared on his hand, a long scar marking his chest along with another deep one going from his forehead to his lips, his dark and long hair covering his neck and his back. He looked frightful and violent and there was something about him that told Thor he was even more menacing than the other ones.

Using his own hands, Thor attacked him, trying to punch his face in order to make him lose balance but the creature was way too fast and dodged again, the knife in his left hand looking even more dangerous now. In a fast movement, he launched Thor against the ground who rolled around his body and escaped from what would be a deadly attack. Around him, no one seemed to notice he had no longer a weapon to use and that made him feel incredibly useless. But he did not care. He no longer cared about whether he would live or die. His brother had left him a long time ago and now he would never come back...

Distracted within these thoughts, Thor did not notice when the Jotun raced against him again and, sending him against the ground, lifted the knife right upon his throat, ready to take his life away in a single hit, the monster's expression hitting Thor heavyly and taking away everything he had held until now. He no longer needed to get out alive so he did not feel scared or worried. There was only acceptance as the knife touched his skin, about to pierce through his neck and leave him to die while drowning in his own blood, exactly what had happened to his brother. Perhaps... Perhaps he deserved it. Perhaps he deserved such a fate for letting go of his little one so easily. He deserved to suffer for not going after Loki right after he left even when he knew he would not be safe. Thor would have done anything to switch places with him but it was too late for that and he closed his eyes, wishing for the impact to be fast and unexpected...

But the impact never came. While the battle raged on around him, over him there was only silence. He had not tried to flee, simply letting the Frost Giant kill him, but he had done nothing. Staring into his blood red eyes, Thor managed to see surprise, a dense surprise, and, weird enough, the creature's eyes seemed to be slowly turning into green. His lips now trembling, the knife in his hand no longer felt menacing and, trying not to stutter, the Jotun whispered to himself, confused.

"T... Thor?"

Thor widened his eyes, a weird feeling racing through his mind and body. Before he could say anything or even think about anything, however, he heard a roar and both saw as a taller Jotun ran after them. Without thinking twice, the stronger Jotun kicked the green-eyed one in the stomach with all of his will and launched him against the ground, his painful scream reaching Thor and bringing him back to reality. With a fast movement of the younger Giant's hand, the magic that held Mjolnir on the ground was gone and it once again returned to its master's grip. Fastly, Thor turned around to face the one that had hesitated in killing him, terribly confused.

"B-But why... W-Who...?" Thor started and could not help but feel bad as the man sighed in despair, apparently depressed for not being recognized somehow. Before this man could get up, however, he felt something grabbing him by the neck as he was sent against the wall, breathing harsly.

"**You had him in your hands! You had the son of Odin in your hands, why didn't you kill him**?!" The taller Jotun asked him exasperated as the others raced after Thor who, with Mjolnir recovered, destroyed every single one of them.

"It is none of your concern" The green-eyed Jotun answered but regretted doing it as another attack was atruck against him, his back now cut and his face against the ground once again. He was growing tired of that but refused to counterattack. Instead, he simply smiled back at the monster who threatened to kill him and said.

"Go on, kill me then. I have been waiting my entire life for this and so have every single one of you. Go on!" He said and laughed, trying to ease the pain on his back, fed by the hate he had received from all of his comrades .

"To kill you is not an option" The Giant said and prepared to inflict as much more pain as he could on the younger warrior but a voice interrupted him and he turned back to see where had it come from. To his despair, Thor had Mjolnir already pointed at him.

"**Hey**!" Thor called him and, a different light shining in his eyes, finished "**Get away from my brother**!"

The hammer hit the monster on the chest, keeping him far from the one who now laid on the ground, barely able to breathe. More than surprised, his teary eyes locked upon the one he had refused to forget during all these years, Loki sighed relieved as he stared to the blue light eyes of his brother.

"I-I thought you had forgotten me..." He admited, trying to get up. Thor still felt deeply confused but they did not have time to waste now. The talk would be left for later: They needed to get back to safety.

"L-Loki...!" Thor approached him, ready to help as he realized he was in pain but Loki stepped back, suddenly scared.

"Don't touch me!" He ordered, making sure he was away from the Thunderer "It will burn your skin!"

Thor blinked fast, even more confused. But he simply listened and attacked another Jotun who was about to attack his brother from behind. He held Mjolnir tightly and prepared to return to battle and more and more Frost Giants attacked, being defeated one by one. Their anger, however, had grown significantly after they realized there was traitor among them and the sheep finally revealed himself, fighting against his own people.

"Wait, are they fighting against each other?!" Sif questioned, realizing the others' fury towards Thor and the Frost Giant who was fighting along with him. Laufey trembled in hate as he saw how much of a warrior his son was. During all of these years he had shown not even a little bit of abilities, always being left behind and acting as being weak. But now he was fighting against his own race and the way he fought and acted were more valuable than he expected they would be.

"You need to get out of here!" Loki shouted as he sent another Jotun against the wall, freeing all of the hate and self-control he had held all these years. It was when reality reached Thor and panic took over him.

"There is no way out!" He screamed "Heimdall will never open the Bifrost if we're followed by these Giants!"

The Warriors Three approached them both realizing why the Jotuns had turned their attention to the siblings a few meters away. Their hate and despise for the son of Odin was of great intensity but to see one of them fighting along with him brought madness to their whole army. Loki thought as fast as he could and, realizing it was their only hope, shouted back.

"**Follow me!" **He ordered and, dodging the last few attacks as best as be could, ran away from their base, fastly followed by the others. Using the power of lightning itself, Thor made sure to keep the Jotuns behind and, not able to carry all of his friends, decided to run with them, alert in case he needed to call the thunder again.

Feeling hard to breath, every single one of them except for Loki were feeling almost defeated as they entered a cavern, a deep and lonely cavern left to rot alone. Looking back, Volstagg could see a few Giant still after them and, sweating and panting, he warned the others.

"We won't be able to fight anymore!" Fandrall said in response, exhausted. The cold air of Jotunheim was deadly to them and their energy was quickly fading away but Loki, at the bottom of the cave, answered to their prayers.

"You will not have to fight! I will send you all back to Asgard before they come and you will be safe. Now, be fast, they are right after us!"

"What do you me-?"

With a smooth movement of his hand, a golden light shined in his palm and he, before anyone could actually understand how, opened one of the many paths to Asgard. The portal shone intensely and he looked back at them, desperate.

"There is no time to explain. Do **not **return to this Realm, no matter **what **happens! You do not know this race but I do and I'm sure they shall seek for revenge! Warn your King and all of your warriors to prepared themselves for a possible war but **do not **return! Understand?"

Sif and the Warriors Three nodded, fastly heading for the portal. They did not hesitate – The short time they had did not allow them to do so – and crossed it in the blink of an eye. But Thor did not move.

"But... But what about you?"

"Do not worry, I will close the path as soon as you leave and Asgard will be safe." Loki told him, still holding the mystical energy in his hand.

"I'm not talking about Asgard. I'm talking about **you**, Loki! I cannot leave you behind! N... Not again!" Thor said, angry. But Loki smiled, the voice of his brother, even though different, making him think straight for once.

"You have never left me, brother. But you must do so now, before they come!" Loki said, eager to embrace him before his departure but at the same time knowing that would hurt him...

"But brother..."

"I love you, Thor" Loki said naturally, as if these simple words had been stuck within him for too long just waiting for the right time to leave his lips, and Thor's heart beat with joy, the will to hold his little one closer growing inside of him with a great despair "I have always loved you and I always will. So, please... Listen to what I'm saying."

The older man was about to react but the last words left him with nothing. It was what his brother wanted, what the person he loved the most asked him. He could not deny it, could he? But still, to leave without him and to simply forget about what had happened was impossible. Would he be able to live with such a terrible deed in his mind?

"I will come back for you!" Thor told him, as a promise. But Loki's eyes were shining with sorrow and he answered, his troath getting dry.

"Please, do not waste your time" He said and before Thor could say something else he heard heavy footsteps getting closer and he ran to the bottom of the cavern, away from where Loki was. The path was right next to him but something kept him away from it, watching in silence.

"Where are they?" An intimidating voice asked and Thor, hidden in shadows, kept on listening, ready to react if needed.

"Too far for any of you to reach them" Loki answered calmly. But that only caused them all to grow furious and before Thor could even think about what was going to happen he heard Loki's agonizing scream as one of the Frost Giants teared his abdomen, his eyes widening in sudden pain and fear, gasps coming out of his lips as he tried to uphold himself in the walls of the cave. Thor needed to do something, he needed to help but his enemies were faster and felt his presence. He could hear them getting closer but refused to leave. Not now, not when Loki needed him the most. If he left they would kill Loki for once and he could not allow that to happen! But at the same time, if he stayed, Asgard would be in danger and if they ever got hold of the Casket-

"**Get him**!" The Jotuns ordered their comrades, running as fast as they could in order to reach the son of Odin and Thor, lost in this dillema, heard Loki's desperate scream from far, in a supplication.

"**T-Thor!**" He screamed, his right hand over his bleeding abdomen as his left hand kept the last bit of magic held within it. Thor sighed desperately but as he saw the creatures getting nearer, he had no choice but cross the portal. Relieved, Loki quickly closed it before someone or something else could reach the other Realm and he fell on his knees, his senses instantly failing him and his eyes seeing nothing but a blur.


	8. Painful Memories

**A.N.: After I chose the name for the chapter, I remembered my favorite PS3 game, Heavy Rain, has a soundtrack with the same name and I realized it fits perfectly with the chapter context. If you'd like to listen to it, just type "Heavy Rain Painful Memories" on youtube. I hope you enjoy your reading =)**

* * *

A billion constellations crossed his eyes as he traveled at light speed through the universe, Mjolnir tightly held by his strong fingers, confusion clouding his mind. It all seemed to last long but, in a single second, he felt the Realm Eternal's ground as he landed next to his comrades, all of them sighing with relief after seeing him.

"Oh, thanks the All-father!" Fandrall exclaimed, grinninh. The other three warriors smiled like-wise but Thor, to their dismay, did not pay attention. Instead, he looked around in an odd way, apparently feeling lost or searching for something, realizing they had been sent right besides the castle's entrance. The Warriors stared at each other in confusion but refused to say anything while Thor looked up as if waiting for the path to appear again. It took him a few minutes to fully compreehend what had happened and so he spoke.

"We need to return to Jotunheim."

"What? Thor, are you out of your mind?" Sif said, exasperated "We cannot return, we just came back from there!"

"Loki is there!" Thor shouted in response "He is still there and they will torture him again! I cannot allow that!"

"Thor, listen... He is alive. He can clearly take care of himself. Leave him be!"

"No!" Thor turned around, facing Sif and the Warriors Three. Once again, he realized he was alone "No, I... All those years I lived in doubt, never knowing him to be alive or not! Now I know there is still a chance to save him, to bring him home, I cannot simply-"

"This is not his home!'

"Of course it is! He is still one of us!"

"No, he** is not**!" Sif said in a harsh tone, trying to bring some sense into Thor's mind despite his will to save the Frost Giant he kept on calling brother "The only reason we are back is because he told us to leave! He wanted us to leave him behind, it was **his choice**!"

"He had no other option, what did you expect him to do?" Thor sighed in anger, not believing he would have to go on his own "If he had come with us he would not have enough time to close the portal and then the Frost Giants would have come with us!"

"What he did was to protect Asgard, something you are not doing!" Sif reminded him, staring at the others with disappointment as none of them tried to help "You heard him, Thor. The Frost Giants are likely to seek war after what we have done! We must warn Allfather before th-"

"No!" This time Thor gnashed his teeth. The mere mention of Odin made his eyes narrow and brim with anger and he tightened his fist around the mystical hammer "Odin must not know anything of our journey to Jotunheim, not until I return my brother to his home! If I tell him about it now he will make sure Heimdall closes the Bridge and he will leave Loki to die alone once again! I cannot allow that to happen, Sif!"

The God of Thunder turned his back to them and walked away, determined to leave. But Fandrall, in an useless attempt to stop the warrior, finally spoke.

"Thor... You cannot trade a thousands lives for a single one."

Odinson stopped, as if considering what the warrior had said. For a moment, it seemed he would give up the idea but, soon enough, he retorted, his voice low and his eyes staring into emptiness...

"If Loki is right and we are at the brink of a war... Bringing him back will change nothing"

* * *

"Leave him be!" One of the warriors ordered his comrades who kept on kicking Loki's body, preventing him from healing himself while he gasped for air, his sight even blurrier, blood still oozed out of the wound on his abdomen, his eyes squeezed shut in pain.

"He has gone too far this time!" One of the other Jotuns said in response, kicking the green-eyed man's torn stomach and making him twist around his own body in a deadly and violent agony.

"You know full well we are not supposed to **kill him**! It is **an order**!" The first Frost Giant retorted, holding his comrade in order to interrupt what he was doing. Relieved, Thor's once adopted brother put a hand over his deep wound, fingering the deeply torn flesh, his tiredness not enough to take away the will he had to live. In a few seconds of deep hopelessness, the bleeding stopped and his skin began to partially heal over but the blood loss had been great and he desperately begged to faint. His prayer, however, was not answered and he stayed awake, a sudden thirst making his throat dry as he attempted to get up.

"Let Laufey take care of him." The first Frost Giant said, finishing his sentence and, grinning wickedly, watched as the others yanked Loki to his feet by his shoulders, forcing him to walk. It felt terribly difficult to walk due to his weariness but Loki forced himself to, trying to stay focused despite the direful smiles playing on his companions' faces. Soon enough, he was forced to kneel before his father, his arms now being held by the creatures who had brought him here.

"You dared to disobey a direct order from your King?!" Began Laufey, approaching him with a menacing glare in his blood red eyes.

"I would never even think about doing such, sir" Loki said, his voice broken and groggily. However, he did not erase the mischievous smile that played at his lips when he met the creature's gaze "My King ordered me never to engage with an enemy so avoiding you is the best I can do even though my King, Odin Allfather, cannot see my loyalty"

It was more than enough to enrage Laufey. The old wound scaring his face started bleeding anew as Laufey tore into the skin that had taken so long to cover the wound and Loki, taking deep breaths, stood still, once again turning his eyes to face the King of Jotunheim who had restarted to speak.

"You turned your back to all of your brothers! You went against my own and direct order and you disrespected all of your lineage!" Laufey' acusations, ironically, coaxed a broader smirk out of his son, "You have sealed your fate with this final act, boy!"

"And what are you going to do? Kill me?" Loki asked, laughing like a madman, a few tears of grief escaping his eyes as the Jotuns mercilessly tightened their grips around his arms "You cannot kill me because you _need_ me, am I right?"

The Frost Giants stared at each other uncomfortably but Laufey simply glared down at him, listening.

"Do you think I am so naïve I do not understand?" Loki continued, the rage inside of him burning as he was reminded of everything, memories that had been sealed away but never truly forgotten "I am not a child anymore, 'father'. I once feared death... Until you finally killed me all those years ago!"

A thick silence surrounded them, pressed in on all who stood present. The cool wind blew against their faces, drips of blood leaving Loki's face and falling on the ground, fresh memories returning to his mind...

"You need me in order to retrieve the Casket, do you not?" Loki asked, forcing himself to stay conscious. He had learned to hold his pain away, he had learned to forget his feelings and he also had learned how to think rationally. He was a man now but the child inside of him implored for vengeance, implored to be avenged after being killed so mercilessly all those years ago "I am the only one who can open the path you so desperately need in order to retrieve the Casket. I am the only one who knows the castle to its full and the only one who can hide you fool creatures from the Guardian of the Realms' sight. You cannot kill me anymore, Laufey, for I am already dead!"

Loki closed his eyes, his wounded stomach aching terribly as he spoke, as he merely breathed. Around him, red eyes shined in the darkness and stared at each other, waiting, wondering... The ice storm had stopped but the cool wind was still present, Loki's dark hair graciously falling on his back in contrast with the fearful feeling present in the air.

"You have commited an act of treason..." Laufey started saying, his voice making Loki shiver as he realized what was about to happen "And you know better than anyone what happens to those who dare to betray their King!"

Cold sweats instantly started running down his body, a burning sensation torturing him inside out, panic covering the light of his eyes and making his bottom lip tremble and, as he tried to free himself, pulling his arms with force, a whip was given to his King. Holding it with care, Laufey, whipping the ground, smiled satisfied at the fear struck into his son's face as soon as terribly small and sharp shards of ice covered the entire object, its shape about to dilacerate the green-eyed Jotun's back.

"No... N-No, please, d-don't" Loki begged, panicking as he remembered other warriors suffering the same punishment. He had been forced to watch every single one of them and he could even hear the screams of angst leaving the warriors' lips, their backs bleeding constantly after being tore apart. He tried to pull his arms free with all of his strenght but the guards stood still, contorting his arms and causing him to wince in pain.

"You should have thought about that before helping an Odinson. **Turn him around**!" Laufey ordered and Loki, desperate, tried to free himself somehow, to attack the infractors, to avoid what was about to happen but, as soon as his back was turned to the King of Jotunheim, a sudden urge to throw up raced through him after being struck on his still healing stomach "You shall regret your past deeds, fool. If you even think about going against my orders-"

A inhuman scream echoed through the Realm as the young Jotun's tasted the shards of ice tearing his back with impetuosity, his head instinctively thrown up, back arching. Breathing deeply, his eyes open wide, Loki started trembling, all of his thoughts directed to the incoming pain on his back as Laufey's words echoed behind him.

"You are Loki Laufeyson! I, Laufey, am your King!" He said, striking the whip with pleasure through every sentence, Loki's watery eyes seeing nothing but blackness swooping into his vision "You are sworn to obey me and no one else! You shall follow my orders and you shall use all of your abilities at my command!"

Loki gasped, no longer holding his sobs as the affliction became way to strong for his body to bear. Another whipping was struck against the ground and he gulped, realizing he had to repeat the words. Taking a deep breath and trying to forget the pain, he spoke, thinking about Thor the whole way through.

"I... I am Loki... Loki O-Odinson..." He began and screamed again as he felt the whip tear his back once again "M-my King is Odin Allfather, King of Asgard, the-" He was interrupted once again, his voice now trembly, his stomach aching than it had ever done before "T-the Realm Eternal..."

Laufey roared with hate, all of his warriors staring down at their King's heir who challenged him with no fear. Deeply nervous, Laufey struck the whip in the air with all of his strenght and it dug deeply into the man's skin, his heart protesting against the torture, beating so fast that he could feel the strong pulsation in his neck, his throat still dry and his senses once again failing him. The agony, however, prevented him from losing consciousness and when Laufey pulled the whip once again, he had to pull it strongly due to how deep it had reached into the man's back. Forcing himself to think about his brother again, Loki continued, sobbing constantly in anguish.

"I shall follow Odin's orders, no matter the sorrow, no matter the pain, no matter what is infringed upon me... I am Loki, son of Odin and brother of Thor, and I shall not allow you to bring sorrow upon their Realm!"

The only thing that kept the young God on his knees were the giants' hands holding his arms, and his head, fallen forward, would keep on contorting back as the whip touched his skin, his screams no longer audible as he gasped in his own saliva, forced to keep his eyes open. When his arms were freed he no longer had the energy to speak neither to react and his chest instantly touched the ground, his green eyes staring into emptiness once again as, next to him, a pool of blood characterized his torture. The guards left his side and approached Laufey while the others simply watched, some of them smiling, others showing amazement but all of them refusing to speak.

"You are forbidden of ever returning to this place. If you ever dare to return, you'll be threatened as an enemy and nothing will prevent us from killing you. You are a shame... You **disgrace** our lineage..."

Loki tried to move but his muscles refused to obey him. Panting and swallowing against the urge to vomit, his heartbeat pulsing in his ear, madness threatened to take over him and he widened his eyes fearing that, if they closed, he would never be able to open them again. Voices echoed in his mind, voices from a distant past, haunting him once again and he put his fists on the ground, using all of the energy he had left to get up. The ground spinning around him, he felt his stomach aching once again and he coughed, the gushes of blood running down his back and legs.

"Now begone" Laufey continued as Loki kept on trying to get up "before I change my mind and leave your judgement to your 'comrades'!"

Loki groaned terribly as he got up, almost falling on his knees again. The wounds on his back were terribly deep ones and he did not manage to walk properly, far too weak to try healing himself. The Frost Giants laughed and mocked but he did not care about them. He could not even hear them properly and so he decided to simply leave. He had waited for this day his whole life in Jotunheim... But he never wished it ended like this. Not after knowing Thor still cared about him.

During long and excruciating minutes he kept on going through the snow, often falling and thinking about giving up. Now, looking back, he thought about how deep he had gotten himself into. He was far away from home but never really thought about it as his home. He had lived through torture during his whole life but as much as his race hated him, they were the only relatives he could properly claim... Loathing himself for thinking about such, he stood once again, a mad affliction overwhelming his heart, his footsprints marking the path of the lonely soul that now roamed lost in his own Realm. After what seemed to take centuries, he found the same cavern he and the Asgardians had gone in, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. The Jotun upheld himself on the cave's wall, coughing intensely, a dense sorrow making him lose balance and, taking a few steps, he let himself sit down, taking care not to lay his back on the wall, his right hand covering his abdomen.

A few seconds passed and he thought about nothing, his eyes trying to close on their own and his body refusing to work properly. But then he stared down at his wound and, the blood of his face dripping next to him, these memories once again returned to him and he sighed, letting them control his thoughts and drag him to sleep...

_"Loki, I know it hurts, but you have to trust me!" Thor told his 7 years old little brother, trying to comfort him but the sight of his broken leg was a terrible one and he doubted the young boy would feel calmer, no matter what he said or did._

_"W-where's m-mom? B-bro, we need m-mom!" Loki begged his older brother who simply stared down at Loki's leg without knowing what to do. And Loki kept on crying! He could not stand it, he could not let Loki suffer like this but what else could he do?_

_"Bro, look at me!" Thor asked him, unsure of what to say "I... Look, you'll have to trust me now, okay?"_

_"W-what are you gonna do?" Loki asked, sweating and taking deep breaths as he spoke – Thor had told him to do so in order to ease the pain._

_"I... I am going to bring mom! Stay here!" Thor said, realizing how stupid it sounded to ask him to stay but before he could leave Loki called him back, desperate._

_"No! No, Thor, don't leave me alone! Please, don't go!" He cried, looking around them. They were playing in a nearby field but the sun no longer shined in the sky and they were alone. Thor realized that too and bit his bottom lip, thinking as fast as he could – He was also beginning to feel scared. It was when he finally spoke._

_"Okay, so... I-I guess I'll have to carry you all the way back home!" Thor said reluctantly, expecting his brother to refuse. But Loki did not care about himself._

_"Can you? B-but what if you fall with me? I-if you also get hurt, we'll be both alone, bro!"_

_Thor blinked a few times and smiled. It felt so good to know his brother trusted him like that and would let him take care of him! Happy, he kept on smiling and answered._

_"I won't fall, bro. I promise! You trust me, right?"_

_"O-Of course, Thor! More than anyone!"_

_"So you can be sure that I'll take you back home in a second! Come!" Thor said and gently picked his little one in his arms. He would have fallen in a second but Loki's faith gave him strenght and he carried on, soon enough arriving home._

Loki smiled to himself, the memory bringing peace to his heart. He sighed deeply as tears tried to leave his eyes but he then returned to reality and closed his eyes tight, refusing to cry.

Without Thor, he would have no hopes, he would have no reason to live any longer but, as much as he loved Thor more than anything, to think he had lost everything made him feel worse than before and, trying to forget about it, he focused on his pain and forced himself to think about the torture he had just received, hoping the pain would drive away the memories. These memories, he did not need them, he did not want them, he...

Sometimes, he just wished they would go away...


	9. The Broken Soul

**A.N. :I'm sorry for taking so long to upload a new chapter. Besides having a terrible writer's block, I was really busy these days and I didn't have time to write. But I haven't forgotten about you, my readers, and you can be sure that I'll finish this. Thank you for your patience.**

* * *

As much as he wanted to immediately leave after Loki something kept him behind. Suddenly reminded of Odin, Thor wondered how to behave when faced by him and being forced to tell him what he had done. A war... After many milennia a new conflict between the Aesir and the Frost Giants threatened their people because of his irresponsability, because of his rage towards the creatures that had tortured his brother for so long. The mere thought of Loki's open stomach made him shiver and he feared returning to such a cruel Realm alone. He did not worry about himself but he still had doubts about being able to protect Loki on his own.

The fact that Heimdall did not question his return did not bother him. The Guardian of the Realms could see anything and as soon as Thor approached him again it was Heimdall who spoke first.

"Loki was very brave"

"Indeed. That is why I shall return to Jotunheim and bring him back to safety where he belongs!"

"As you wish" Heimdall said and let the mystical machinery of the Bifrost work and the path to Jotunheim open. Without a second thought, the Thunderer let the portal swallow him whole and, in an instant, he was attacked by a new gust of wind.

As he left deep footsteps in the snow, his uneasiness making him invulnerable enough to coldness, his mind guided him through the place, his own instincts taking him back to the fortress they had been to earlier that same day. Alert to a possible attack, he was ready to fly away if needed but approaching the area was not necessary as his eyes locked on a trail of blood leading to an unknown place out of the dreadful arena. Praying for his brother's safety, he hesitantly followed the path, the snow once pure white now covered with splashes of blood, the unconstant footsteps characterizing an extremely tired and weak being which had crawled to safety. Terrible enough, he had reached the same cavern they had been in and Thor, fearing the worst, waited for a few seconds, trying to listen to any kind of noise... But no noise came. Whispering softly, he hoped to receive an answer and called.

"Brother?" The snow was no longer falling but the wind would still blow against his face, the difficulty to listen pushing him forward. Walking slowly and silently he entered the cavern and instantly felt the urge to throw up.

The Thunderer's eyes fell heavy over the helpless man who laid against the wall, his back turned to the exit of the cave. During his warrior duties and quests Thor had seen many types of punishment and although whipping had always been something terrible it had never been like this – Loki's back had not been simply tore off but his very muscles had been left open. Pieces of his own flesh were hanging from his back, blood still running down his convulsing body. Thor left Mjolnir on the ground and approached the Jotun with care... Loki's arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his entire body shaking compulsively as if overwhelmed by a strong fever. Scared and surprised, Thor could clearly see drips of sweat covering his face and his eyes - his once shining green eyes – were now locked in the distance, exhausted, dead to reality, dead to his own existence, its color fading with every forced breath he took.

"L... Loki?" Thor called, slowly approaching the little one he loved so dearly but afraid to realize it was too late to do anything. Refusing to look into his brother's dilacerated back again he decided to meet his eyes and was shocked when he realized these held no longer the energy to look back at him. But Thor needed to bring them back to life and so he called once again, trying to keep his voice steady "Brother, l... Little one?"

For a few seconds, Loki did not respond, did not even move. Aside from his harsh breath, nothing else could tell he was alive. But a few seconds later, his eyes widened in a sudden movement and he let his head move, finally getting sight of the man in front of him. His reaction was instinctive and, his senses working by their own, he immediately got up, his eyes filled up with a mixture of fear and surprise but, before he could even think about what he had done, something stronger brought him back to madness and he let out an agonizing scream, his back refusing to let him stand up straight and his abdomen making him feel nauseated. A sudden cry left his trembly lips and he put his hand against the wall to gather some air. Desperate, Thor tried to help him but before he could fully approach him Loki's failing voice echoed through the place.

"**Don't**!" He ordered, fighting against the well known urge to vomit, his head spinning "I'm alright...!"

Trying to control his heartbeat Thor took a long and deep breath, too confused to react. Loki slowly let himself sit down again, groaning in an insane pain, while Thor simply stood still, unable to help. The Jotun made sure his back didn't touch the wall but laid his head against it, sighing in relief as the sudden pain became bearable. An awkward silence haunted the air and they stood silent, Thor watching over the man who refused to face him for an unknown reason. It took Loki some minutes to finally speak for he could not hold it anymore.

"Why did you return?" He asked, staring up lost in thoughts.

"I came to rescue you!" Thor told him with conviction as if stating the obvious. But the way he looked back at him left him helpless.

"After I told you **not **to!" Loki said, the words cutting Thor like daggers.

"But... I-I couldn't leave you behind!" Thor protested, wrathful.

"I warned you about a possible war, didn't I? I told you to warn Odin, I told you never to return!"

"You were terribly mistaken if you truly believed I would leave you to die in this place!"

"To risk thousands of lives because of one? You left your people in order to protect an insignificant creature? You are risking the life of your king, of your family! What a lack of responsability! **Stupidity**!"

"You should be grateful that I returned to help you!" Thor said, angry, and approched the Jotun in order to clean the blood off his face.

"**Don't touch me!**" Loki shouted. The urgency in his voice made Thor jump back and he finally undertood what it all meant. As tears shined in Loki's eyes, forcing himself to look away, and he raised his arms as if protecting himself, Thor finally understood.

"Loki..." He called, his voice once again soft trying to comfort the one who refused to look at him "Loki, trying to hurt me will not be enough for me to give up on you"

The Frost Giant said nothing, the silence heavier than before. Sighing, Thor let himself sit away from the man but did not take his eyes off him. Loki was worried about his brother's safety and would try to persuade him to leave him for all eternity. But his wounds were way too deep and it was clear that he needed his sibling with him.

"Why did you come in first place?" Loki asked suddenly, forcing his voice to stay controlled as a harrowing sadness took over him again "I assume you had better reasons other than-"

"Sort of" Thor interrupted him "I... I have always had my doubts about your safety but... After the Frost Giants broke into Asgard's Vault I feared that... That..."

"Say it" Loki told him, already knowing what he feared speaking. But Thor stood silent and so Loki spoke "It has been a long time, Thor. I understand it perfectly. The truce, the trade... I grew up, you know"

Thor sighed, finding it hard to continue. He did not want Loki to find it out that way but it was already too late. He should have known it would be too late. Perhaps he knew it was too late but his hopes had blinded him. Perhaps his wish of being able to protect the one he still loved so dearly had taken his reason away. Perhaps... Perhaps it had been a mistake to even believe.

"Since... Since you were the... The 'price' for peace" Thor said, fighting against the will to scream in hate, once again thinking about all of the years he had spent alone "After they entered our Realm I thought... I thought you were dead but I couldn't simply accept that, could I?"

Loki sighed, tightening his grip around his stomach. Thor didn't want an answer, he simply wanted to be assured that he had done the right thing. He had done everything for him, for the Jotun Prince, and was ready to do it all again. But Loki never thought about this possibility, he never thought about the possibility of his comrades being killed in the process!

"But you are alive! Then why did they break our confidence in such way? I must find out what exact-"

"I was the one to send them to Asgard" Loki said still looking away, ashamed of his act, ashamed of himself. Thor felt his heart sink.

"Y-you... You did... You were the one to-?"

"Please, brother, try to understand!" Loki asked in a supplication, his hands shaking "I-I never betrayed Asgard nor Odin nor anyone other than my father! I... I had no other option!" He said, covering his face with his bloody hands, the wound on his face burning with the sudden touch "I... I-I never thought Odin Allfather would send someone to..."

"But why, Loki? Why did you allow them to?" Thor asked, soon enough regretting it. What if Loki had been severely tortured and had been forced to let them through? He did not want him to remember that now, he just wanted him to feel better... And he was failing miserably.

"I... I needed to... To prove the Aesir I'm still loyal to Asgard" Loki started saying "I have fooled my race's plans of invading Asgard many times but they found out about it and I had to warn Odin somehow! B-But how could I simply go and tell him about it?"

"Loki..."

"No one would believe me if I appeared out of nowhere in Asgard! I am a Frost Giant, I am the same as an enemy and no matter what I said they would have killed me before I even had time to think!" Loki said, speaking faster than he thought he could "If I... I-If I could return the Casket to your King by myself perhaps I would have the slightest chance to..."

Loki went silent, panting desperately as if incapable of breathing. Thor was in shock, too much information for him to comprehend at once.

"But... Wasn't there another way out?" Thor asked in a very low tone.

"I don't know" The young man said, Thor having never felt such a deep honesty in his whole life "I was desperate, I... I couldn't take it anymore, I-I..."

"Hey, hey!" Thor interrupted him as he felt the terrible panic taking over his beloved. He had never seen a man in such fright and the scene frightened him as well. His brother's sanity had destroyed reason and to even think was something hard for him now. But perhaps... Perhaps he did not really have any other choice. He did not know what Loki had gone through all those years and why he needed to see Asgard in such a hurry but Thor surely did not want to push him now.

"Loki, listen to me... If you come with me no one will doubt your presence. Even if they do, I will be there, they won't cause you harm!"

"How can you be so sure?" Loki questioned, suddenly overwhelmed by anger "People only care about their own safety! It doesn't matter if the one next to them falls, they don't need him! As long as he looks menacing they shall attack and kill him!"

"The Jotun's ways have blinded you, my brother. The Aesir are not like that!"

"We all are like that!" The Frost Giant retorted, staring wildly at the Asgardian "If a Giant is violent, you believe all of them are! There is no turning back! What is done is done!"

"You are wrong! We can make it right this time. Trust me, I can help you. **We** can help you!"

"I don't want to be helped! I just want it all to end at once!"

"It all to- Loki, don't!" The Thunderer felt his heart beating faster against his chest "I... I know you are suffering an immeasurable pain but you need to carry on!"

"I... I am tired, Thor. I am not sure I want to carry on..." Loki said, his voice barely a whisper now.

"No, no. Do not pronounce such words, brother! As long as I am here with you, I promise you shall face no harm" Thor said, his brother's words torturing him inside.

"Perhaps... Perhaps this is just what I have been waiting for. To see you one last time before... Before I-"

"Loki!" Thor called him affectionatelly, unable to bear such words, unable to see the one who inspired him so much giving up in such a way. Clearly, the intense pain had crushed him and to know Asgard was now in danger teared him apart.

"Brother, please! If you stay in here, they are going to kill you!"

"Kill me?" Loki questioned ironically without looking back. His voice did not tremble neither did his eyes show fear but the sadness could be felt through his words and when he spoke, Thor could not help but feel destroyed in the inside "There is nothing left of me to kill, brother"

The gusts of wind got stronger and the tension took over the place. Loki simply gazed into the distance while Thor stared at him. Soon enough, a choky sobbing reached Thor and he sighed sadly seeing Loki sttutering in fear.

"H... H-Have you ever... Felt y-your own s-sanity fading a-away?" He asked, holding his own hand so it could stop shaking but without sucess. He took a deep breath, the pain on his back reminding him of Kvasir and making him wish Thor hadn't returned "By the Gods, what have I done? H-how can I be so weak?!" He questioned, hating himself as he had never done before.

"Why do you believe in such, brother? You are not weak!"

"Yes, I am! Why have I gone through all of this without looking back but now that you are here I can't stop these... T-These tears f-from..."

He said no more. He couldn't, the words simply refused to leave his lips and a pressure stronger than he could handle made him choke, Loki holding his cry as much as he could. How could he, a grown up man, lose himself like this? How could he, after all those years, go against what had been told him all along? This was not the act of a man, of a warrior. This was the act of a weak, of a damned creature, the shame crushing him.

"Loki, look at me!" Thor called him softly, looking into the broken soul that laid before him "After everything you have gone through, brother... Y-you are the strongest man I have ever known! But no one has to be strong all the time, brother... If you're suffering, just let it go. Don't hold the pain!"

Loki did not answer. He did not know what to do, how to react, he did not even know what to say. _Act as real man would!_, a voice echoed in his mind. But his body wouldn't cooperate and the fear he felt was too strong to let him control himself. But he had to. He had to be strong, he needed to...

"You have nothing to fear, little one" Were Thor's words "I am right here"

Such words were enough. The exiled Jotun closed his eyes trying once again to remind himself of his physical pain as he had always done his entire life, using the pain to forget about his miserable existence, but that was not enough. The lack of meaning in his life hit him at once, all of his failures telling him he would never be enough to anyone. His lungs aching madly, the first tears rolled down his cheeks and, as much as he didn't want to, he closed his eyes, lost, and cried. Covering his face with his hands, his cry instantly turned into deep sobs and his teared body quivered constantly, the will to cease to exist getting stronger and stronger. He didn't want to live. He never wanted to live... At least not alone.

But he was not alone. Carefully sitting next to him, Thor sighed – To see his brother cry so hopelessly always made him feel bad – but smiled sadly. With a soft touch, he put his hand over his brother's head and brought him closer, letting the Jotun lay his head over his big brother's chest. To Thor's despair, Loki cried even louder, his trembly hands holding his big brother's arms and back, afraid of falling, afraid of being left alone. Caressing his head, Thor could do nothing but patiently wait as Loki thought about his days in the freezing Realm, about the words he had never pronounced because of the fear, about all the hope he had lost due to violence and lack of confidence, about the way Kvasir had died... Nothing would change the fact that he was the one to blame. Nothing would ever heal the eternal wounds he would bear. His grip around Thor's arm tightened and he tried to speak, to tell Thor how he felt, to tell him how much it meant for him to have his brother back, to tell him everything but not even half words left his lips as he choked constantly, the memories bringing horror to his heart once again.

"It's alright, it's alright. I am here with you, don't worry!" Thor comforted him, still caressing his head.

"B-B-b-br-brother, I-I-..."

"Everything will be fine, trust me. I promise you, little one, I won't let anything harm you. Never again"

Time passed by slowly. But it passed. Just as our happiness may fade sometimes, our sadness may also be controlled and disappear. Taking a last deep a long breath, Loki let go of Thor, abashed, and waited. There was nothing to be done nor nothing to be said and silence once again covered their bodies. This time, however, the air did not feel as heavy and Thor was able to feel relieved for a few seconds.

"I... You... T-thank you, Thor, for... For everything."

"There is nothing to thank me for" Thor answered, smiling.

"I missed you so much, brother. I really did" Loki said, feeling peace after so long and finally smiling since they had met once again. Thor smiled even more and got up hesitantly.

"Come, brother. I will take you back home!" Thor called Loki, expecting him to agree. Instead, he smiled sadly.

"Thor, I'm really grateful but... You know I can't go. Besides, I'm afraid I'm too weak to open the portal again."

"You don't have to open it. Heimdall is watching over us, he will take us back through the Bifrost!"

"It is dangerous, Thor! If Laufey finds out about your return he..."

"Do not worry about me for I can protect myself! You are too weak to defend yourself and I will not leave you behind."

"But... I... I cannot leave. They need me, my people need me! I-I..." How could he explain? Hadn't he made it pretty clear already? But no matter what he wanted to do, Thor was right. He needed to recover so he could protect himself and others. Thor didn't question the meaning of what he had said for he knew he would understand later. That didn't matter right now "You... You need to promise me one thing"

"Of course. Anything!"

"If someone sees us on the way back to the Bifrost... I want you to leave me and save yourself. No matter what you see or what you hear, I want you to leave and, this time, never return. Do you understand?"

Thor stared at Loki with indignation, thinking about refusing to accept such a thing. But he had no choice and, hesitantly, agreed after a few seconds. Even with Thor helping him, it was impossible for Loki not to groan in agony and so Thor held him with extreme care. As soon as they left the cave the coldness reminded them of the danger they were in and many thoughts filled Loki's mind. Looking around, he hoped no one would see them, he begged the heavens for his brother's safety and he wondered if Laufey already knew about Thor's return. However, only one thought filled up Thor's mind and this one thought was enough to move him forward.

"Please, brother... Don't die on me"


	10. A Moment of Peace

Thor didn't think he would be able to carry Loki through the Bifrost. He would constantly look around themselves, praying that no one would see them or worse. Loki walked slowly, sighing in grief, the fear of being spotted by any of his men suffocating him. But no one came and nothing saw them as they reached the opening to the Rainbow Bridge. A single call for the Guardian of the Realms and an intense light engulfed them, an unexpected force pushing them forward. In a single second, they arrived in Asgard.

The impact made Loki fall on his knees even though Thor had one of his arms wrapped around his waist. A terrible feeling left Thor staring at him, useless, as the Frost Giant coughed and choke, closing his fist over his abdomen, his wounded stomach making him bent over himself, not knowing if the anguish he was feeling was due to fear or simply due to the pain. An insane will to faint reflected in his exhausted eyes and Thor froze, expecting the worst, unable to fight against it. His sudden hopelessness, however, was interrupted as Heimdall approached him, helping Loki up and bringing Thor back to reality.

"Thor, you must seek help!" Heimdall reminded him, feeling the pressure the Prince of Asgard was under, his fallen brother trying to walk against his will while being helped by both men. It confused Thor that now, in Asgard, Loki seemed to have gotten worse. He was frenetically trembling and it felt ever more difficult to breath as if something was trying to make his lungs collapse. Thor could feel it and he found it hard to shake these feeling away and focus on his brother's safety. He and Heimdall fastly left the golden room and, as soon as they stepped on the Rainbow Bridge, Thor saw his horse standing before him. Without thinking twice, he left Mjolnir behind so all of his attention would be directed to the man and so he helped Loki up and followed, making sure the Jotun felt comfortable enough behind him.

"Hold yourself onto me!" Thor told the young man, only leaving after feeling Loki's arms wrap around his waist and his trembly fingers twitch over his abdomen, his head laying over Thor's back as he shaked violently once again, his mind urgently telling him to stay focused in contrast with his body which tried to knock him down.

The Bifrost would react with the touch of the horse's strong hooves, different tones of color shining under its weight. Even through all the pain, Loki could not help but feel amazed by these bright lights, suddenly reminded of the times he used to spend in there listening to children stories. He gasped for air, his skin covered with even more sweat and his vision getting darker as more seconds passed. For a moment, he felt his body falling but Thor instantly held his hand, making him focus again. "Be strong, my brother. Please, stay with me!" were Thor's words as he begged for his little one's life.

They soon entered the the golden kingdom, the Asgardian Castle still far away but its power resonating through the houses and gardens of the Realm, a relaxing feeling falling over all who lived in there. Loki remembered such feeling.

He remembered it all too well.

"T... Thor!" He called, still finding it hard to breath, the pain driving him mad.

"Yes, Loki, what is wrong?" Thor asked, a deep urgency in his voice, and he listened.

"Can... Can you slow down?" He asked, the child hidden beneath his terrifying lineage smiling after so long and Thor, even though worried about his health, decided to slow down. Loki softened his grip around Thor's waist and let himself look around and Thor, moved, smiled proudly as his brother's eyes shined with a long lost sentiment: Happiness.

"I-I never thought I would l-live to... To see this place once again" He let out in a whisper, his teary green eyes gazing over the light blue sky, meeting the life which ran through the fields and through the houses, the golden structures of the Realm shining against him and driving him to sleep. The birds would fly free over the Asgardians, the so peaceful and happy Asgardians, who watched their children run freely around the trees and playing together in a mixture of comprehension and determination. To see the places he so dearly loved such as the small river next to the big rock – He and Thor used to call it as such and would often swin together when they were only boys – touched him deeply and he bit his lips, trying not to think about it anymore, trying to understand what had gone so wrong and what had brought him here once again. Before he realized it, the pain returned with full force and he closed his eyes tightly, regretful, guilty, tormented by memories from a life he could never have once again.

A sudden shout echoed in their ears and Loki opened his eyes, shocked.

"A Frost Giant!"

It was the voice of a little girl, staring at him with a intense fear struck into her. Soon enough, more and more people gathered around them, their questions filling up the air. Some were hiding their younger familiars, others questioned their Prince's foolish act of bringing such a creature into their Realm and some even dared to grab arrows and swords, holding them next to their bodies, ready to defend themselves if needed. Thor did not say a word, afraid that would bring even more questions upon him - he needed to get to the healing room as fast as he managed to - but that act only seemed to attract even more doubts to his people. Loki grabbed Thor's arm with might, panicking for a reason Thor did not yet understand, and said.

"They're... They're afraid of me, Thor!"

"I won't let them do you any harm, Loki. Trust me, brother, please" Thor told him, feeling the tension grow denser. Now, with Loki's chest so close to him, he felt the frenetic and unconstant pulse coming from his heart, his little one's panic getting to him. Thor sighed, not really knowing what to do or say to ease his pain until he saw a familiar face in the distance.

"Wait, is that-" Sif started, barely believing her eyes. She and the Warriors Three were riding their own horses, apparently heading to the Bifrost.

"Thor... With Loki?!" Fandral finished her sentence and left after him, followed by his three comrades. None of them thought he would be so fast but now, watching him return, made them feel ashamed for letting him leave alone. It was terrible to all of them to see Loki in such a state and the amount of blood splattered over his body and Thor's armor made them feel useless.

"T-Thor, are you-" Volstagg started but was interrupted.

"Please, my friends, you have to help me!" Thor asked "I need to take my brother to the healing room right away. Explain everything to our people!"

"But... But everything? Even about Jotunheim and-?" Sif questioned, making sure not to look at the broken Jotun in front of her: She couldn't bear the sight, mainly due to her failing with her future King and letting him suffer alone.

"Only the essential! Loki is **not** a threat! Please, make that very clear!" Thor stated and left, out of time. He left that to his friends, still not understanding why Loki had felt so scared and worse since they arrived in Asgard. The Frost Giant's heart beat faster than it could handle and his very veins burned painfully, his fingers closing tighter and tighter around his brother's arm, his dry throat fighting against a sorrowful scream, uncontrolable sobs trying to take over him, too much even for him to comprehend. As soon as they reached the entrance of the castle, Thor fastly helped him down, an imaginary clock ringing slower and slower in his mind as if to remind him of the time that was passing by, the need to make Loki feel better hitting him stronger than it had ever done. He let Loki uphold himself on him once again, ready to take him on his arms if needed, and moved towards the gate, the guards already coming to his aid and helping him through.

"Stay with me, brother, s-stay with me...!" Thor told him, Loki's bloody tears falling over the golden corridors, his eyes losing their focus after he couldn't bear it any longer and sobbed in affliction, sweating terribly, intensely. The guards stood close, not daring to approach without orders, and the chaos had already been installed in the castle where people would leave their duties to see what was going on. Everyone wanted to help at once but it would only make things worse and so Thor kept on walking, refusing to look around, refusing to pay attention to anything other than the life he now had in his hands. He had just reached the healing room when someone got in their way and he stopped.

Through his gasps and coughs, Loki managed to meet the blue eyes that used to comfort him whenever he needed. For an instant, he lost the very notion of where he was or what was happening, her light blue eyes hypnotizing and surprising him, his green eyes brimming with an unknown yet special feeling. She had covered her mouth with both of her hands but now, reluctant, she tried touching her loved little boy's bleeding face. Just as she touched it, however, he moved his head away, the agony returning to his heart once again.

"Mother, y-you **have** to help me!" Thor told her, lost. Without thinking twice, she entered the Healing Room – Which was currently with no patients – and told Thor to lay him on a bed while their healers helped him. With extreme care, Thor helped Loki to lay on his side, making sure his back neither his stomach would touch anything.

"Keep your eyes o-on me, brother! I promise you, you shall feel no more pain!" Thor told him, kneeling next to him and cuddling his raven hair.

"Y-you s-should have left me, T-Thor...!" Loki told him, panting deeply and forcing himself to stay awake.

"No, you are safe now. You are finally home, brother!"

"I-I d-don't want you t-to see this, b-brother...!" He gasped, frenetically holding his big brother's arm as if making sure he wouldn't leave, the fear of being left alone leaving him out of air but the guilty for letting Thor see what was about to happen simply-

"No, no, no, stop! Stop right there!" Thor ordered him, panicking. They had come too far for it to end like this "Y-you're not... Brother, trust me, I will take care of you! B-be strong, please, be s-strong... For me!"

Loki choke, his free hand closed over his aching abdomen, partially healed. Thor did not pay attention to anything besides his little brother while Frigga stood next to the healers as they approached the Frost Giant. One of them had a healing stone while the other two of them brought linen, herbs and everything they could find. They doubted a Frost Giant would suffer the same as an Asgardian when touched by their medicine so any mean of helping him was necessary and needed. Thor just felt glad that Loki would never get to see their expressions as they stared to his back, almost certain that wouldn't be easy to heal.

"We shall use a healing stone before anything else but due to the seriousness of the situation I'm afraid it won't be enough!" One of the healers said, a tall and young man holding the magic object in his hand.

"Do anything that's on your reach!" Frigga told the man and so he crushed the stone on his hand, letting it fall over the man's back so it would heal. But it wasn't enough and only his muscles healed a little, the wound proving to be even deeper than they thought it was.

"I-I... C...can't br...eath!" Loki said, his eyes wide with the sudden panic, his chest going up and down incredibly fast, his whole body suffering constant spasms while his heart beat extremely faster, trying to fight against the decrease of his blood flow. Thor stared to the team who tried to help, unable to see what the others were doing while he drowned in sorrow, his vision suddenly blurry. Frigga approached Loki and Thor whispered to him, once again feeling miserable and useless to the one who now depended so much of him.

"K-Keep calm, brother, it will pass! Control yourself, the p-pain will go away, j-just stay calm...!" He said, failing his own words as he lost control over himself and started trembling as much as his brother was, the fear of losing him in such a way killing him on the inside. But Frigga put her hand over his shoulder with care, lending her calm to him in a way only she could. Loki didn't need her, that she knew very well. He only needed his loved brother and he was the only one Thor needed. As she managed to calm Thor down for a while, he took a deep breath and spoke slower, smiling.

"Shhh, it is a-alright now, little one. Y... Y-you will be fine. I am here. Y-you have nothing to fear... Trust me, little one. Trust me, little brother"

Whatever they had done to his brother's back, Thor knew it had made him feel a little better. His light green eyes met Thor's blue ones and a shadow of a smile surpassed his lips. The pain was fading away so peacefully now and his breathing would slowly return to normal. The darkness surrounding him didn't look so terrifying now. In fact, it looked comforting...

Thor held his breath as Loki's head fell limp over the bed, his frantic grip around Thor's arm letting go and his entire body relaxing at once. Afraid, Thor caressed his head carefully and only when he listened to the Frost Giant's weak breathing he let it go, overwhelmed by an intense relief.

"I'm afraid we can't help him any longer for now" One of the other healers said, a woman whose hand was covered in blood "He is too impaired for us to try anything else. I we use more power than we should, I fear he may not survive"

Thor said nothing. He had nothing to say. He simply watched over this fragile man who laid before him, thinking, wondering, feeling his very pain and hating himself for not being able to do anything else. Frigga asked the others to leave and so they did, leaving the two princes and herself alone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked in a very low tone, with compassion. The Thunderer's eyes showed emptiness and he stood in silence for long minutes before saying anything.

"I wanted to speak to Odin as soon as I brought him home but... Everything, it just feels... It feels so confusing"

"When did you go?" Frigga asked, grabbing a wet linen and gently cleaning her green eyed son's face.

"Today in the morning. I... I returned without him but I..."

He stopped, remembering of the impact struck against Loki's stomach, remembering of how they had teared his stomach with violence and had left him to bleed to death. He covered his face with both of his hands, his head pounding, the nervosism destroying him inside out.

"Say nothing else for now" His mother told him, realizing he had seen or perhaps even heard too much that day "Let's focus about your brother before anything else"

The God of Thunder smiled weakly. His mother had always managed to control her feelings even under the hardest of pressures. He didn't want to push her for she also had her limits so he simply stood silent, watching as she cleaned the blood out of his brother's face. He would face Odin later. He would face Asgard later. For now, all that mattered was his beloved's safety. And he simply stood still, watching as the man would constantly breath in and out, free of any pain or fear. After so many years, Loki had finally found himself enjoying a moment of peace.


	11. Alone

Kvasir's mother was still rocking back and forth, her boy's lifeless body tightly held in her arms as fresh tears left her eyes. His father, petrified, tried to comfort his wife, feeling as lost and broken as she was, Kvasir's death screams still echoing in his mind. He closed his eyes, hoping it all had been a nightmare and that he would soon see his little boy once again...

Laufey watched everything with care, analyzing, thinking. As these parents cried over their son's dead body, his warriors left the place and returned to their fortress. Loki had been taken by force, barely moving, petrified in fear and shock but Laufey did not care about his state for he knew his men would watch over him.

However, five days later, he found a reason to care.

"Your majesty" One of his warriors knelt before him, clearly hesitant and worried about something. Laufey looked down at him from his throne and sensing the uncomfortable atmosphere let him continue "Me and my comrades wanted to speak to you... About you child"

Laufey sighed "What is the matter?"

"He... He has not eaten neither slept for five days, since Kvasir was killed. We forced him to eat yet he refused. He has not even spoken these days" The warrior said, afraid the state of boy would foil his King's plans.

"Have you tried to persuade him?" Laufey asked, staring at the distance as, for the first time, his attention turned to the boy.

"Yes, my King. But it was useless... He simply let himself lay on the ground after he was hit. He did not even move while he was beaten and our words did not seem to bring any effect upon him. Some of us think he might be sick. We fear..." The Jotun waited a few seconds before continuing and stared at the ground, afraid of meeting his ruler's sharp eyes "We fear he might be dying, your Majesty"

The King of the Frost Giants said nothing, deep in thoughts. There was only one reason for bringing Loki to Jotunheim and if he died now everything would be lost. Perhaps it had all been too much for the child's mind to accept. As long as he lived, everything would happen as it was originally planned. But first, he needed to break Loki's spirit into pieces until he had no one but him, the King of Jotunheim. He needed Loki to trust him.

That thought, Laufey followed his warrior to their fortress so he could lead him to where the boy was. It did not take long before they arrived and so his men left him, well aware of his need to speak to the boy alone.

The eight years old boy had hidden himself in a tight and narrow space under a frozen mountain. Loki was laying on his side, his arms crossed over his naked chest, over the long scar his father had given him the day he arrived. His tiny and convulsing body was full of bruises, a small pool of dry blood laying next to him. His blood red eyes were shot open, deep dark circles under his eyes, pure fear preventing him from sleeping, from resting, from living. He did not move, something kept him on the ground and his aching head blurred his vision due to intense pain. A little boy left to die on his own grief laid before the ruler of Jotunheim but this ruler's heart, cold as ice, did not feel the slightest compassion for the dying child.

Laufey sat next to the small living being and watched as he did not even realize there was someone so close to him. His eyes were still locked in the distance, his lips still trembling and his hands tightly closed over his own arm, as if he was holding someone else next to him, making sure this someone wouldn't leave him. He thought about his mother, Frigga, and about how he had always loved whenever she hugged him before he went to bed. His mom loved him, didn't she? She said she loved him but where was she now? Had it all been a lie? Had she left him to die or would she come and rescue him later? Had her and Odin only pretended to love him so his suffering would last longer? These questions were the only thing that roamed through his failing mind and the little bit of hope that had kept him alive during his first days in the Realm was no more. Hopeless, he was slowly succumbing to death and his mind, unable to let him rest even in his last hour, would constantly tear his heart with such thoughts, thoughts he could not shake away, thoughts that had finally managed to murder the boy Loki once was.

"Loki..." Laufey started, speaking in a soft, comforting tone "My son... Are you listening?"

The trembly boy did not respond with words for he could not speak anymore. It took him a few seconds before he, fresh tears leaving his eyes, shook his head in response.

"You should eat, you know?" Laufey continued, trying to sound friendly and kind for once but the little boy did not react "You need to eat well so you may become a strong warrior one day. A strong King!"

He had never wanted to become a king. Sometimes he would feel jealous of Thor for being so strong, that was true, but he never wanted the throne. He knew Thor was stronger than him and so he started training to become as strong as his big brother was. But he never wanted to become a king. He just wanted to be with Thor. He wanted to make his brother proud. Everything he had ever done was to make his brother proud. But his brother had left him... His family had left him.

"What happened to Kvasir... Listen, Loki, I know it is hard. But that is what happens everyday. I'm trying to make a great man out of you and as such you need to know the truth. I am preparing you for what you might face one day"

Kvasir... Kvasir, Kvasir, Kvasir, he had died, he had been killed, he needed help, he had asked for help, he was dead, he was dead... Loki coughed, losing his sanity to his memories, to these thoughts, to his existence itself. Kva's mother had shouted at him, it was his fault, he had done nothing wrong, he had killed his friend, he had killed his friend...

Loki's fingernails dug into his skin as he tightened his grip around his arm. He had grown used to physical pain. He felt better as long as he felt pain. He felt like a coward. He had already caused too much pain. His Asgardian family had left him, they wanted him to suffer because they hated him. And now even the Frost Giants hated him, even more than they had done when he arrived. Where should he go to? He had no one. He... He was alone.

"The Asgardians lied to you and they still lie to their children, my son" Laufey continued, putting a hand over Loki's shoulder "They tell you life is easy and lie to you about how you should act. They hide the truth we all must face and when you finally face it you realize it is not as they told you so. But I - I am here to prepare you for real life"

Loki felt sick, nauseated and he tried to move before he threw up. Not even his arms, however, answered to his commands and he gasped, his eyes open even wider, a burning sensation making him feel dizzier than he was. Laufey watched over him for a few seconds before he gently picked the boy in his arms and let him lay against his chest. Just now, in his arms, Laufey fully realized how tiny he was. He caressed the boy's head slowly and patiently, whispering to him.

"When you grow up you'll understand, my child, that I have been taking care of you. You are my son and I will not let lies destroy the King that lives inside of you"

Loki did not look at him. Even though he was no longer on the ground, his eyes hadn't lost their panicked state and he still stared into the distance, tears still falling from them. But Laufey's touch and words had been the only thing he had felt and heard for days and, not understanding what he was feeling, he closed his hand over Laufey's arms instead, finding comfort in the one that had caused so much pain to him.

Laufey smiled. He had won the child.


	12. Need

Thor waited a few minutes before leaving his brother's bedside. For what seemed to last an eternity he stood still, watching carefully as Loki breathed in and out, sudden chills hitting him and making him shiver in his sleep. Thor knew, however, that Loki wouldn't rest for he hadn't simply fallen asleep but had fainted, his body's maniac desire erasing him from existence for a while. Gazing at his mother, Thor left the healing room feeling calmer as he realized Loki was in good hands although he trembled as an uncertain future opened its path before him.

He couldn't wait any longer. He would talk to Odin.

What to tell him was his biggest doubt. He had thought about this day for a long time but now that it had finally arrived he did not know what to say not even how to speak. Besides his doubts, he felt watched as he headed towards the throne room. People around the castle constantly stared at him with delusional thoughts and sayings, things Thor knew were related to him bringing a Frost Giant to their peaceful realm. However, he could do nothing but ignore those words and so he keep on walking, pretty sure his father already knew about what was happening. Before he noticed, he had already reached the place and so he automatically kneeled before the man who sat on the throne.

"My King, Odin Allfather. I have an urgent matter to tell you about"

Odin stared down at his son, unsure of how to react as he realized Thor refused to look at him. "Rise, my son" Odin told him and listened carefully.

"I have disrespected a direct order from you. I have ventured myself through forbidden lands even though you explicitly told me not to. I... I have, by my own will, entered Jotunheim"

Odin inhaled deeply, thoughts Thor couldn't understand shining in his eye. "What for?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"To rescue the one you abandoned as a child" Thor said, not feeling bad for letting these words flow so easily. He did not know if Odin already knew of Loki's presence or if he truly didn't. Perhaps he wanted to Thor to say it as a way to punish him but perhaps he had refused to know what had happened through others. Thor, however, didn't care.

"Explain yourself!" Odin ordered.

"I have not to explain myself for I already have. They have broke into our Weapons Vault. I needed to teach them a lesson and make sure my brother was safe"

The Allfather let his voice grow louder. "Have you fought against the Frost Giants? Alone?"

For a moment, Thor lost all of his conviction and took a deep breath. Of such an act he was surely guilty but refused to say so... However, he then remembered his friends. He did not want them to be blamed for his own doing and his pride left him. "Yes, I have faced them in battle, when I found my brother among them. I realized, however, I couldn't defeat them alone and so I fled, returning to Asgard as fast as I managed to."

"Continue" Was Odin's word. Thor felt his rage growing denser. How could he be so cold at a time like this?

"Loki can control magic and so he opened a portal to Asgard so I could get through it. But before I left his 'comrades' teared his stomach open, almost killing him in the process. I could not leave him there so I returned and brought him to safety – Something you should have done a long time ago."

Odin widened his eyes, thinking about what Thor had just said. If Loki had opened the portal once what would have prevented him from opening it when the Frost Giants had first entered their Weapons Vault? Thor surely hadn't thought about it that way but it was acceptable that Loki would turn his back against them. He had to follow his king's orders and that King was Laufey, Ruler of Jotunheim. Instead of pronouncing such words, however, he decided to listen to what Thor had to say.

"What about Laufey?" Odin asked and Thor sighed, hating as every question led him to think about how foolish of an act he had done. He was sure he had brought peace to one man but after bringing him and seeing his real state he couldn't help but think about what could happen to his people if...

"I... L-Loki warned me about... About a possible war after what I did..."

"Is it so hard for you to understand?" Odin started, getting up, Gungnir tightly held on his right hand, Thor feeling uneasy "I expected you to understand how difficult the life of a King is but you refuse to do so! You refuse to accept the decisions we have to make, you refuse to accept we have to think about our people as one!"

They were now face to face, both feeling betrayed, angry, confused. Thor stared into his King's eye with care and felt even worse as he saw not even a little bit of worry. There was just duty in his eyes and even though he needed that since he was a King, how could a King protect his people if he didn't truly love them?

"Loki is not your brother, he is not my son, he is not an Asgardian! He is a Frost Giant and he is the son of their ruler, Laufey! He is their responsability and you could have killed him by bringing him here!"

"Killing him by bringing him here?! I **saved **him! They, his so called friends, his so called father left him to die **again**! How did you expect me to let them do such a thing to him? I am not like you!"

"Loki suffered what he had to in order to live as one of his own! It is not right of me to judge his actions!"

"He is your **son**!"

"My son would have understood and accepted my reasons!" Odin said, exasperated. Thor tightened his fists with force, not believing in Odin's words "I am glad you have yet to become a king! Your decisions as a ruler would have brought destruction upon our people and our Realm! I thought you were ready..."

Thor bit his lips, sensing a bad feeling, hating the way his father spoke. But Odin was now thoughtful and the clear rudeness that covered his face made it clear to Thor what he intended to do. That alone made Thor freak out.

He would be exiled. He would be exiled and Loki would be left alone.

"Don't you even want to **see **him?!" Thor asked almost screaming in a last attempt to stop Odin and bring reason into his mind. If he was banished no one would be able to bring him back and his brother needed him now more than he had ever done. To leave him alone in a world where everone seemed to hate him, wounded and unprotected, was something unacceptable! Thankfully, these simple words made Odin reconsider and after a few seconds of silence he answered in a low tone, a sudden broken expression shining in his one good eye.

"Of course I do"

Sighing, not in relief but in anxiety, Thor headed back to the healing room, his head pounding as Odin walked next to him, his son too absorbed in his own thoughts to realize Odin's worry. As they reached the room and stopped next to the door, however, both of the men forgot about each other and turned their attention to a scene that made their hearts sink.

The Frost Giant hadn't moved since Thor had left, the same frenetic sensation emanating from him, his body covered with even more sweat - Something apparently unusual, strange, worrying. But what killed Thor a little more wasn't Loki's state... It was Frigga's.

The Goddess sat next to the bed, a now dirty linen in her right hand while her left one laid over the bed. In his inner desperation, Loki had grabbed this one hand and she left it motionless so her boy could feel protected during his grief. Her eyes were full of tears, tears of love and sadness, and as she saw her husband and son at the door she didn't hold her innocent relief and motherly happiness.

"Our litte boy has returned, Odin" She said proudly, her teary eyes focused on the only one who mattered right now, all of her memories and hopes hitting her heart and turning her trembly lips into a beautiful smile "He has returned to us... To me..."

Thor held himself against his will to approach her. He had never really thought intensely about how his mother felt about all of this. Since his teenage days he tried to make her feel better but he couldn't understand nor feel her pain. Even now, it felt so hard to comprehend it but it felt so strong that he immediately forgot about himself and directed his thoughts to the afflicted mother who had lost her child, to the afflicted mother who did not even say goodbye to her little angel before he was taken away from her by force, to the afflicted mother who had held her pain through all these years so Thor would feel a little better. Guilty took over him in a way he feared was too strong even for him... And the hate he felt for his father suddenly grew worse. He refused to approach her for Odin should be the one to comfort his wife in such a moment. He was the guilty one, not Thor, not Laufey, not anyone else. Only Odin.

"He's having trouble in his sleep, though" Frigga continued as Loki's finger once again closed over her hand "You should have seen the way he looked at me... Somehow it felt comforting. He has not lost the love he felt for me when he was young... That playful little boy..."

Odin sighed, unable to move or to speak. Thor refused to say anything, simply staring at his own feet, too tired to react while his father was around. The King of Asgard slowly approached his wife and put his hand over her left shoulder, letting her relax under his touch. The Goddess closed her eyes, already knowing how Odin's duty as a King would make things worse, and so she spoke.

"He needs us, Odin. More than anyone, he needs Thor. Please, let us take care of him".

The Asgardian King said nothing. Instead, he laid his eyes over the Frost Giant in front of him. Laufey's son. Just as abandoned as he was the day he was found in the frozen lands. A little boy left to die... And now a man on the verge of death.

Without saying a word, Odin turned around and left, refusing to look at anyone. For a few seconds, silence reigned over the room but soon enough Frigga spoke once again, her need for some comprehension speaking louder.

"Thor, sweetheart..." Frigga called him and her voice broke a little, trying to contain her strangled sobs while speaking "W... Would you stay with mommy for a while? I... I don't think I will be able to bear it alone if h-he d... Doesn't m-make it..."

And then she broke into uncontrollable sobs and tears, losing to the deep sorrow she met after facing her loved one so lost and scared, so broken and destroyed on the inside. Thor instantly sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her, hugging his mother in a comforting embrace as she laid her head over his chest, not able to hold the pain any longer.

"T-Tell me he will recover... P-Please, tell me he will return to u-us..." She begged, letting the shaking she had held for so long take over her as Thor caressed her head carefully and softly. He tried to say something, tried to tell her everything would be alright and that Loki would be safe... But he was afraid he would be telling her lies. He was not sure about these words, he was not even sure that Loki would wake up, that Loki would survive but he had to believe he would... To believe in.

The Thunderer managed to hold his tears for, this time, someone else needed more than comfort than he did. Frigga had lost control in a way Thor had never seen her do before and he realized how terrible it must have been for her to see her son alone, missing a piece of him. The pain of losing a child was the hardest things she had ever faced and even though he had returned she feared he would not survive... She needed to see his eyes open again, these light green eyes which used to burn like fire and lighten life's dark path. She needed to hear his voice once again. His voice was the only thing she needed. His embrace. His smile. He needed her son. He needed her life back. And as Thor brought his mother closer to his heart, now beating peacefully, a single tear left this little brother's eyes.


	13. Safe

Three days had passed since Thor had spoken to Odin. He refused to talk to him, to even look at him and Odin didn't try changing that – He was probably happy without his stubborn son bothering him. The Thunderer couldn't care less. He had better things to do.

Like waiting for his brother to wake up.

Three days had passed... And yet Loki showed no signs of recovery. The only thing he did was to groan in his sleep, the renewed pain on his back unconsciously crushing his spirit. He wasn't sweating as much as he was the day he arrived but he would still tremble constantly, suffering never ending shivers, his face getting paler and paler. They feared using any kind of medicine as he had almost instantly fainted after being partially healed. But he did not seem to hear neither feel anything and he would often choke on his own saliva, once again unconsciously. He had not eaten neither drunk anything and Frigga's worry was already suffocating her.

Frigga had brought in some tea to calm herself down. The last few days had been really hard to her and Thor but mainly to her. She had decided to stay next to her little boy day and night until he woke up and refused to do anything past that, fearing he would panic if found alone. As much as Thor wanted to stay with her, she decided he would watch over him while he was in Asgard and so he needed to prepare himself. The whole time her trembly hands would be found caressing Loki's hands and face as she tried to lend what was left of her calm to her son. But he wouldn't answer to her touch, often having trouble breathing, his features suddenly contracted in uneasiness. The Goddess tried talking to him a few times, hoping he would answer, but to no avail. It felt harder to hold the tears as hours passed with Loki showing no signs of waking up and she constantly lost herself into sobs, the way he had looked into her eyes before passing out to be forever remembered by her. More minutes passed by as she slowly drank her tea, a memory making her smile as she waited. And waited...

_Frigga sighed, once again feeling lost and unsure about what to do, about how to feel. Thor had been acting differently that day. He was silent, bothered with something she didn't know. Of course, since Loki had been taken away, Thor no longer went back to being the joyful boy he was. Even though he would play with his friends, even though he would smile the whole time, even __though he pretended to be okay she could see in his eyes that he wasn't. She could feel his loneliness and in his smile she saw nothing but lies, lies covering the sad truth he had to endure. Thor was already a 17 years old man but he refused to forget what had happened. His relationship with Odin would never be the same again and it had become something usual to see him silent._

_That day, however, he wasn't simply silent. There was something bothering him, something that_ was _confusing him and that wasn't sadness or any other feeling he had grown used to feel. It was... Someone._

_The future King of Asgard was sitting under a tree, close to the __small river next to the big rock, staring at his friends in the distance, Fandrall, Hogun, Volstagg and Sif, once again fighting against each other in a friendly match. He did not feel like practicing with them, he did not feel like being next to them. And as Frigga realized this feeling taking over her son's head, she did not hesitate and decided to join him, sitting next to the river he and Loki used to love so much._

_"Sweetie?" She called in a way only she could, instantly making her son smile just for being there for him. The teenager gave her a quick glance before looking away once again, confused and ashamed._

_"Oh, hi mom." He greeted her, not caring about how he sounded. What made him feel so comfortable while next to his mother was the fact that she did not care about the way he looked like or the way he spoke. No one saw him as Thor. Everyone else would always see him as the Son of Odin, as the Future King of Asgard, as the one every other child and teenager should have as an example. He missed being simply Thor and the only ones whohad ever made him feel that way had always been Loki and Frigga. With his brother gone, he had only his mother to count with and, right now, it was enough._

_"Is something bothering you, my son? You have been really quiet these last days__" She asked, seeing as her son's cheeks burnt red. _

_"No, I... __I don't think so. Why do you ask?" Thor had never been good with lies. He would always stutter when lying and there was something about his face that made it very clear he was hiding something. Right now, even he knew it felt to obvious he wasn't saying the truth._

_"If you need anything you know you can always talk to me, don't you?" Frigga said, smiling while following Thor's gaze and meeting Sif in the distance._

_"Thank you mother but... It is... Let's say it is "boy's stuff"..." He whispered more to himself than to his mother. How could he talk about such a thing with her? It felt so... Embarassing. Awkward. Simply weird. He couldn't talk to her about that, could he?_

_"Well, if that is the case... I'm sure your father would love to talk to you about it. Have you tried talking to him?"_

_"No! He is probably too busy with more important matters to listen to his stubborn son". Thor said, the air suddenly growing denser and the once feeling of peace vanishing in the blink of an eye, all of the present easiness suddenly leaving the atmosphere and being substituted by hate. Such deep hate and anger towards his own father crushed Frigga and she let out a long breath, tired of trying to change his mind "I don't want him to know, anyway."_

_The Goddess sighed once again, not knowing what to say. Ever since Loki's departure to Jotunheim, Thor and Odin's relationship had been slowly erased, all of their good times together forgotten as Thor grew to despise the man. It was useless to try arguing with him and, due to his pride, impossible to explain anything._

_"What about your friends? Volstagg, Hogun, Fandrall..." She offered, staring back to the boys in the distance._

_"Nah... They would mock me all around the Realm. Believe me, you don't know them. As if calling themselves "The Warriors Three" wasn't enough..."_

_"Don't you have other friends? Anyone?"_

_"I have colleagues. The great majority of them are only interested in my position as the prince of Asgard and the others don't really care that much"_

_More than confused – that Frigga knew very well - Thor felt depressed. Now, more than ever, he had no one to talk to. He needed someone that would listen without questioning, withouth judging. He needed someone he truly trusted in, someone that would clear his mind with a single smile or simply try understand what he was going through. He just needed someone to be there... And Frigga knew who that was. _

_"Do... Do you think he... He thinks about me?" Thor asked shyly, his voice filled up with sorrow as he once again remembered about how strong Loki's grip had been around his waist, searching for safety many years ago. The wooden sword miniature he had been given on his birthday was now attached to a simple necklace he would always carry with him, as a memory, as a shine of hope. He laid his head over his arms, crossed over his legs, and refused to look at his mother. Guilty still killed him on the inside and he felt ashamed of not being able to help the one he loved more than anyone._

_"Of course he does!" Frigga told him, trying to sound positive. However, her heart believed Loki had gone through too much and she feared he... Shaking away these thoughts, the Goddess smiled and put a hand over her son's shoulder "How could he not think about his 'big bro'?"_

_The prince smiled to himself. Loki used to call him 'big bro' the whole day when he was little, running around the corridors of the castle after Odin's firstborn, asking him to play with him. The now teenage Thor Odinson held the small wooden sword hanging on his necklace and stared at it for a few seconds, forgetting about his confusion._

_"I hope he is okay... I hope... I hope I can tell him how much I care one day" Thor sighed, closing his eyes while still holding the gift. Frigga closed her own, tightening her grip around her son's shoulder, begging the heavens Thor's prayer would be heard._

She had just lowered her cup, melancholic, when a desperate coughing started next to her and she immediately choke in surprise, staring worriedly at her son. Loki had instinctively turned down choking and gasping, imploring for air, his eyes widened in fear and pain. Not knowing what to do, te Goddess freaked out, wishing Thor was there. She wanted to call for help, the healers waiting outside the room, but her voice failed her and she merely whispered to him, watching as he suffocated, almost throwing up, as if something had teared his throat leving him to drown in despair. Frigga put her hands over his back, begging him to calm down, and soon enough the door opened as the healers, two men and a woman, realized something was wrong. The woman covered her trembly lips with her free hand while the men approached him, the Jotun's green eyes staring lost and panicked into obscurity, his lungs way too compressed now, his right hand grabbing his chest in an instinctive movement. It all happened so fast that the healers didn't have enough time to know if there was something preventing him from breathing or if he had simply panicked and he fell on his side again, breathing fast and desperately, his need for air bringing tears to his eyes and forcing him to fight against sobs that prevented him from focusing,

"L-Loki...! Loki, oh dear, mommy is here, little one, m-mommy is here...!" Frigga said, finally finding her voice and letting her feelings course through her words, both of her hands now caressing the Jotun's face, his eyes meeting her own and asking for help, her motherly worry and love killing and saving her at the same time. The present healers waited patiently while their patient was comforted, a new wave of drips of sweat covering his features.

"W... W-Where a-am... I?" Loki asked with a broken voice, deeply confused and lost.

"You're safe, my child. You're in Asgard now. You're home" Frigga said, tore appart as her little boy's eyes showed nothing but emptiness.

"A... A-Asgard...? B-But, how, I..."

"Thor brought you, honey" Frigga told him, now terribly worried. Didn't he remember anything? "He went to Jotunheim searching for you and brought you home"

Loki blinked a few times, widening his eyes as if remembering things little by little. Suddenly overwhelmed by fear, he shivered and spoke, pure horror in his voice.

"Thor! Thor, w-where is Thor? Is he safe? Please, t-tell me he is safe!"

"Thor is safe, sweetheart. Thor is safe, you are safe, we all are! Now, please, dear, calm down!"

Hesitantly and trying not to scream in affliction due to the pain on his back, the Jotun Prince allowed himself to lay down, his senses confusing him, the realization of what had happened bringing uneasiness to his heart and to Frigga's. The healers next to him didn't know if it would be right to do anything right after he woke up and silence took over the room once again. Loki hadn't seen them behind him though and he jumped, scared, when one of the spoke.

"How are you feeling? Any pain or discomfort?"

"I..." Loki started, not sure about trusting in these unknown people. But Frigga nodded and he continued, still reluctant "I-I can't feel my legs. And my back, it just... I-It's terrible" He said, closing his eyes, ashamed. Frigga, on the other hand, smiled, moved, and held Loki's hand in a soft touch to what he answered with a gasp.

"Don't-... Aren't you... Do you feel no pain?" He asked even more confused, staring down at Frigga's hand. She smiled even wider.

"No. Should I?" Loki looked at their hands with the eyes of a lost puppy, his sudden innocence making Frigga giggle.

"I... I have seen it many many times" He said, recomposing himself "During conflicts... No matter who our enemies were, a single touch against their skin would harm them. I... I-I don't understand, I-"

And before he could avoid it, Loki was pulled into a tight embrace, soft and trembly arms wrapped around him, and a sudden warmth raced through his broken soul. Being careful not to touch his dilacerated back, Frigga made sure to hold him tight against her body, not allowing him to pull her away. She didn't care if she would be harmed, she didn't care if he was their enemies child for that he had never truly been. He had always been her little boy, her little baby, and now she had him back, back to her heart, protected under her arms just as he was the day he arrived. Just like the little angel he had always loved as her own.

This angel, however, had had his wings cut off. Stuck to the ground, he felt hopeless and this embrace confused him in a different way. Reluctantly, he wrapped his own arms around the Goddess' body, feeling her relax due to the immense peace that now roamed free through her heart. Fresh tears were falling from her light blue eyes but these were not of grief but of happiness, of comfort, thankfull tears and Loki laid his head over her shoulder, not knowing what to say or how to react. He still couldn't understand...

"W... Why?" He asked shyly and Frigga looked into his eyes, almost sure of what he was about to ask "Why do you... I deserve none of this, I never did! W-why do you love me so much...?"

"I have always loved you, my son, and I always will to the end of my days. Nothing will ever change that"

"B-But..." He sighed, once again overwhelmed by a bad feeling and guilt "It... It must be a shame for you to... To call me, a Frost Jotun, an exiled and damned creature your... Y-your son!"

"A shame? No, sweetheart!" She told him, saddened by the thoughts that now filled his mind "I could never feel ashamed of having a wonderful boy such as you as my own child. No matter what others say or do, I have always felt proud of having you as my son. You brought life and joy to all of us!"

"B-But I-I'm weak!" He said, breathing with difficulty as he thought about the gazes he had received as he arrived with Thor and the way the Aesir instantly prepared to attack him if needed "I'm weak, I am seen as threat, I am a traitor to all of Asgard! I am the son of your enemy, how can you...?"

She held his face with both of her hands, his attention now focused to the way she looked at him, her eyes full of comprehension, full of compassion "The weak make the strong believe their are inferior so they will never show their true potential. As long as there are still people who trust you there is no reason to consider yourself a threat. And it doesn't matter to me if you're not my real son... In my heart, you will always be!"

Loki swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before smiling, moved. Frigga smiled too and played with his hair, a very long and dark hair. The woman who had taken care of his back smiled and left the room, followed by her colleagues, both men walking awkwardly.

"Your hair has grown, uh? I bet all of the Jotun ladies were always after you, am I right?" She asked, teasing him, trying to make it all easier for her little boy, trying to make him laugh or even smile once again,. It was so beautiful when he did so, especially after all these years.

"Not really...' He said, smiling sincerely, and lowered his gaze "The warriors from Jotunheim are usually kept reunited at our fortress. The women don't really go in there"

"So you are a Jotun Warrior? She asked and he looked back at her.

"Not exactly. I don't fight well. I just pretend to but most of the time I don't really pay attention to what my comrades say or do. It gets kind of boring some times" He said, feeling an odd pressure leaving him naturally, the words flowing easily through his lips, remembering of all the times the Goddess would simply listen to him talk about things he liked. Such good memories brought a forgotten warmth to his heart, something Frigga noticed and made her feel happier as well.

"What about your trip back? Thor probably did quite a mess back at Jotunheim, didn't he?" She asked, raising her brow in a way that made Loki laugh.

"Indeed, he caused a havoc around the place. I bet Laufey didn't like it, of course, but it was fun to watch him look around in despair while Thor roared around."

Frigga smiled in peace and looked back to her son. There was a long scar over his chest and another deep and apparently new one over his face. His entire body was full of bruises and cuts and even though he smiled she could feel his hands shaking slightly over the bed. Perhaps she could understand why such had happened to him but she couldn't understand how. Hadn't no one felt pity for the boy when he arrived? Had no one tried to take care of him? Any parent would try to-

"Sweetheart..." She started, not sure if that was the right time to ask such a question. He payed attention to what she was about to say and even if she wanted to turn back now it was too late. Perhaps something natural to him now, to her it was unnaceptable that not even his real mother had done something to help and so she spoke "Did you meet your biological mother?"

Loki smiled sadly "No. It seems she passed away right after I was born. No one ever told me much about her"

Frigga sighed, caressing his shaky hands, her sadness being felt through her words "I'm so sorry, little one. If I could do anything to help, you know that..."

"Don't be. It's not your fault, it is no one's fault. I understand now. Odin did what he had to in order to protect his family. I understand his reasons and I respect them. Don't blame yourself"

"Indeed, you have grown" She said, caressing his face and making him smile once again. A few seconds passed in total silence, the singing of the birds outside reaching their ears in a beautiful and majestic melody. After a few more seconds of deep thoughts, Loki spoke.

"What exactly happened after I arrived?" He started, speaking in a low tone "The last thing I remember is you and Thor next to me and then... Nothing. Did I pass out? And if I did... How long have I been asleep?"

Frigga met her son's eyes, realizing these were already prepared for the shock. Deep inside, he knew he had been out for a long time even though he didn't want to believe it "You have been asleep for three days"

"Three days..." He sighed, looking down to his hands, as if able to see innocent blood splattered over them, hating himself, and asked "What about Jotunheim? The Frost Giants, Laufey, didn't... Didn't anyone come after me?"

"I'm afraid not, sweetheart..." She said, refusing to look into his eyes. But Loki had lowered his gaze back to his closed fists.

"If they come... If they ever find out about my arrival in Asgard they won't hesitate in coming after me. Millions of lives... Millions of lives are in danger now and it's all my fault! What if they come? How will I ever forgive myself for putting you into danger like this?" He asked himself, laying on his side and covering his face with his hands.

"Sweetie, they haven't come!"

"What if they do?"

"They won't!" Frigga said with conviction, forcing him to look back at her "And if they ever do, we shall be ready! Now, little one, why don't you get some rest? You don't look so good..."

"Rest? No, I am rested enough. Even more than enough, actually. I'll... I'll just wait until I can walk again and..."

"Honey, you look exhausted! Try to sleep for a while longer, try to sleep while you still can. I will take care of you!" She begged, desperation making her stutter.

"Don't worry about me, please" He asked, afraid of bothering the Aesir with his need for help even though Frigga didn't care about that. He didn't want her to have problems "The pain is more bearable now, I will be fine. And I have never slept more than two hours a day anyway since-"

And Loki stopped. In contrast with the way he was feeling mere seconds before, he was now frightened and that fright reflected in his eyes, once again lost, shining with pain, sorrow, guilt, regret. He stared into the blackness that had suddenly covered his heart, his throath immediately getting dry and these screams once again echoing in his mind, these screams that had teared him appart and had proved him of how wrong it was to go against his Ruler's words. The intense sadness felt so strong that Frigga fought against the will to cry, the feeling that emanated from her son hitting her in a way no one would ever be able to explain. The fallen warrior closed his eyes, trying to hide the tears that fought to leave his eyes, and took a deep breath, trying to forget but uncapable of doing so. His attention only turned away from this one memory when Frigga caressed his head and looked into his eyes, tears falling down from her own.

"Loki... What have they done to you?

A few more seconds passed and he simply looked at her. She felt broken and scared enough, he didn't want to bother her any longer. He could only thank her for being there, only thank her for listening and for accepting him back... It was the least he could do. "Terribly worried as always... Right, mom?" He said, smiling sadly, and Frigga cried happily while laying her head over his, the way he had so lovely called her 'mom' bringing more joy than she could ask for to her heart.

"Can I see Thor?" Loki asked innocently in a whisper, a terrible tiredness taking over him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart... I don't know where exactly he is and I want you to recover a little more before you see him. You know how your brother is; he will try to take you around the Realm on his back, if needed" She said, smiling, and Loki giggled "Besides, he has a surprise for you and I'm not sure if it's ready"

"I don't usually like surprises... What does he have in mind?" Loki asked, thinking about the many surprises he had received in the past. But Frigga's smile made him forget about that in an instant.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told about it, would it? Now, please, try to get some sleep. If not for you... For your brother" She said and that made Loki focus once again. She knew he would do anything to make his brother fell better. She knew how much they loved each other and she knew he would do anything as long as it was for Thor. "You have no idea of how much he missed you... So I want him to enjoy his 'baby brother' in full health. Okay?"

She kissed his forehead, taking care not to touch his now clean scar, and got him a cup of water. It felt hard to drink it for his stomach wasn't fully healed but he was thankful and drank everything. After a few minutes, he let the healers give him some substances unknown to him but accepted it as long as it was useful against the pain he was feeling. Frigga stood with him the whole time, simply being there for him, and that was more than enough. Once again alone with the exiled Prince, she held his hand until he fell asleep, now assured that, this time, no nightmares would haunt him in his sleep.


	14. A Heavy Burden

**A.N.: In this story, I want to develop an idea I have in my mind about races and the stereotypes there are about them. This idea is to become clearer in the future. **

* * *

Beyond the fortress inhabited by the protectors of the Realm of Jotunheim was seen that which could be called home by the ones unable to fight and their children. The rustic village of the Frost Giants in nothing reminded the sunny home of the Aesir, being more easily associated to a deformed existence among many mountains covered with ice and snow than to what could be called "home". Still, for those who had never seen the sunlight in its comforting and magnificent entirety, that forgotten land served them as their home and the young Jotuns felt satisfied by simply watching the older ones leave toward their stronghold, prepared to defend their Realm against anything that threatened the peace of their people.

Hoirandí looked around, watching the snowflakes falling over the heads of playful children who ran freely among old stones and rocks, children who could not yet understand the difficult life they would have to face one day, children who still could not understand the cruel fate that awaited them, the only thing that would remain to them as soon as they became a part of the army. Kvasir had began to understand that fate, constantly being taught about justice by his parents. To some people, it seemed impossible to believe that, amongst many cruel beings as Frost Giants, there were individuals who only sought for peace. But there were such individuals; and Kvasir had always been told by his father and mother, Hoirandí and Singrid respectively, to fight for such blessing, their goals and dreams always hidden from the King of Jotunheim. His early death, at the age of 10, still terrified many of them, but mainly Hoirandí and his wife. It had been 20 years since they had lost their only son in such a cold and cruel way, but the memories were too real to be forgotten. Having left the army of Laufey since very long, Hoirandí spent his days caring for his wife and his daily business in the village, trying to forget...

On this day, however, it felt impossible to forget. It had been a long time since the descendant of the throne, Loki, had returned to the village. Still, words about him were common, words that always spoke of his lack of interest in the teachings of his father. The words he heard on this one day, however, brought discomfort and at the same time comfort to the heart of the Giant Hoirandí - Loki Laufeyson, it seemed, had been saved from death by the Asgardian Thor Odinson and his current status was unknown. It had been three days since the young man had been taken and an uneasiness began to take over of the inhabitants of Jotunheim due to the fact that Laufey did not seem concerned about the matter. But that did not worry Hoirandí. When thinking of Loki again, more memories came back to his mind and he left his duty for a moment, thinking about the first day he saw the boy in the village. Hoirandí himself did not stay with him... But how could he forget the way his little boy, Kvasir, had repeated day after day about the moment he met the son of Laufey?

A week after the arrival of Loki on Jotunheim, Laufey decided to take him to the village. The boy no longer wore the lightweight armor he wore the day he arrived and his green eyes had been taken by a dark red color, deep dark circles already appearing under his eyes. Wearing nothing more than what appeared to be a piece of an old cloth covering his waist, Loki still felt the cold and tried to warm himself up by wrapping his tiny body with his arms. His deep wounds had not yet healed and fear, more than anything, still brought him constant pain and suffering. Once they crossed the gates of the small village, the villagers' eyes turned to the king and the tiny boy who walked beside him, trembling and frightened.

"People need someone to control and to protect them, someone to guide them in times of distress!" Laufey said to Loki, the exiled Asgardian looking around the place, scared "That is why they need a King extremely focused on his duty. This King, besides focusing on his skills in a battlefield, must know his people and have a healthy dialogue with them in order to find an appropriate way to govern over them. Here I have brought you so that you may know a little more about what lies beyond our stronghold. I want you to talk to our brothers and sisters and get used to their - and now yours - reality. Now go!"

Loki looked at him, frightened. He did not like the idea of wandering alone in a strange and gloomy place like this, hundreds of Frost Giants watching over his crossing. Before he could say anything, however, the little boy found himself alone, Laufey and his men walking quickly and leaving him behind. Containing a sob of despair, the little boy pressed his arms against his body and walked alone to a small hill, watching the daily life of his... The idea of calling such creatures his brothers and sisters had not yet fixed in his mind and he felt confused. Nothing would make him move, even if it was a direct order from his King, and he looked around, looking for a place where he could stay until he was taken back to the torment he lived in among the warriors.

A few feet away, three children had turned their attention to him. Between a 14 years old girl and a boy of 13, was Kvasir, the 10 years old son of Hoirandí. A few minutes ago, the three amused themselves in a long conversation about war and the war itself - During that time, Hoirandí was still part of the army. Now, the three had turned to Loki and the little boy, realizing their gazes over him, stared down to his feet, embarrassed, the voice of the Jotuns reaching his ears.

"... The son of King Laufey! Look at the size of those scars!"

"That thing is the son of the King?" The girl asked, showing disgust "Look at him. He does not even seem to be a Jotun"

"What do you mean?" The 13 years old boy asked.

"Now, look at his size! He's so... Tiny! And look at how he walks. He looks totally helpless, afraid of his own race! What a shame! What inferiority!"

"They say he lived with the Asgardians since he was a baby ..." Kvasir said, looking at him without malice.

"No wonder he is such a freak!" The girl replied and the other boy laughed "Seeing him like that ... I can not imagine how the Asgardians won the battle against our armies millennia ago. It's ridiculous!"

These harsh words hurt Loki stronger than he thought they would. The way the girl spoke reminded him of Asgard and how many children used to see him as being weak. He had always been small and seemingly unable to fight, to defend himself... But regardless of what they said, Thor was always by his side to make him feel better and make him see that it was possible to become as good as the others. But to remember his home, his family, none of that mattered anymore... It no longer mattered to him for they had deserted him and although he tried to force himself to accept it so he could survive, the pain suffocated him, the pain depressed him, his heart sinking increasingly toward its end. Trying to go to a shelter, the frozen ground below him took him down and Loki, landing with a crash over his arm, could not feel more defeated. Embarrassed, he kept his head down as he got up up, only to sit on the treacherous ice pack, the laughter of the young Frost Giants hitting him hard again.

"Look at him, stumbling on his own feet. He does not even seem to know the ground which he's walking on!"

"I see nothing wrong with him," commented Kvasir, innocently "He's scared, alone, but seems to be nice."

"If he is so nice, why don't you go stay with him?" The girl asked, mocking, and turned away, heading for a place as far as possible from there, the other boy following her closely "What a freak... How dare he come here?"

Hesitant, Kvasir considered leaving the boy alone. Something, however, seemed to call him closer to the boy and he approached the son of Laufey with a smile. The boy looked so depressed ... Perhaps an cheerful conversation would make him feel better.

"Hello!" Kvasir greeted, smiling, waiting for a response. But the answer he received was unexpected and Loki, frightened, jumped back, startled, and posted his arm in front of his face, as if defending imself. Tears instantly covered his eyes and he started shaking, moving away. Desperate, Kvasir tried to calm him down but the confusion was apparent in his own eyes, the reaction of the boy in front of him being totally unexpected "No! W-Wait, I ... I will not hurt you! It us alright, do not feel scared ! I-I just ... "

Loki sniffled, trying to hold his feelings back, and slowly sat normally again even though his eyes had remained focused on the newcomer. Relieved, Kvasir waited until he calmed down and only when Loki turned his attention to the distance he spoke again.

"Can I ... Can I sit next to you?" He asked, patiently and waited. Loki said nothing, just continued to stare at the horizon, his head resting on his arms folded across his legs. Being so close to a giant made him shiver but he did not manage not speak. Even more confused, the poor boy found himself shaking his head positively, the difficulty in handling his tears becoming stronger. Thanking him, Kvasir sat beside him in silence and waited for a few seconds before speaking again.

"What is your name?" Kvasir asked, trying to sound friendly and reliable. But the son of Laufey barely budged, an awkward atmosphere in the air, and Kvasir continued Kvasir "Well... It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you do not want to. I am Kvasir! It is an honor to meet the one that will come to be my King in the future!"

Again, silence. There was a mixture of terror and confusion in the eyes of the little boy. He looked so lost that it caused grief to the 10 years old boy and more silence ensued thereafter.

"How old are you? I'm 10! My father is part of the army of your father but he does not know much about you. Actually, no one seems to know much about you..."

Loki coughed briefly. How could Kvasir, with just two years apart, be so tall? He also was a child but his body did not show that. Kvasir was even taller than his brothe- Colleague, he thought to himself - 12 years old colleague, Thor! How could he, Loki, being a Frost Giants, be so small?

"It must be nice to be the son of the King..." The boy began again, thinking about the effort of his father and his colleagues. He also wanted to, one day, become strong and protect his family, and would always love tales that spoke of heroic deeds, of wars, of heroes and despite not liking violence he knew that, living in Jotunheim, he would need to learn to fight. Therefore, it felt impossible to ignore the multiple brands covering the the small body next to him and so he continued to speak "I mean, you live with the warriors, does you not? I bet you're being trained by the King himself! All of these scars, they simply - "

Kvasir regretted uttering such words as soon as he was interrupted by an unexpected sob beside him. Loki started trembling convulsively, his eyes brimming with tears, a hurt and suffered moan leaving his lips. His hands closed tightly over his arms, hurting him, and the nightmare he had been living in since he arrived twisted him again. Not knowing what to do, Kvasir found himself unable to speak for a few seconds, and further approaching the boy, put his hand on his shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry ... Please forgive me, I just ... I did not mean to scare you. I-I ... Please, do not cry! I did not want to-" He said, his hands sliding over little boy's arm "W-was it something I said? I'm really sorry, I just wanted to make you feel better and... I-I'm going to call my mom! You will see, she will know to do! She will help!" He said, desperate, and started to get up but the hesitation made him stay close and it was with great surprise that he heard a voice drowning in tears being directed him.

"L-Loki...!"

"What?" The son of Hoirandí asked, kneeling beside the boy, focused on the his voice.

"M-My name ... Is L-Loki ... "Loki said, trying to hold back the sobs that had always taken over him from the start.

"Loki? Whoa, that is a cool name! I mean it!" Kvasir said, smiling. Before he could say anything else, though, Loki continued.

"W-Why are you so tall...? I-I'm 10 years old but I'm so t... Tiny...!" He said, hating himself more than anything. He had never been good to the Aesir at all hence why they had abandoned him but he expected at least to feel at home while with another Frost Giant as young as he was. However, he was not as fierce as they were, neither as strong and now he realized he was too small to be one of them. He felt so out of place, so alone, so left behind and he gasped, wishing to be taken into torture again. At least he would feel useful.

"I... I do not know, Loki" Kvasir said, wrapping one of his arms around the tiny boy "It is curious, that is for sure... But, hey, it does not really matter! I mean, as long as you are one of us no one will really pay attention to that, right?"

"Y-Your friends d-did..." Loki retorted, breathlessness.

"My friends? No, they are not my friends... They, well, are just colleagues, I think. But do not worry about them! Mom always told me not to care about what others say! Try doing the same!"

"I-I miss my m-mom..." Loki let out and hid his face behind his arms, forcing himself to think about his new life and how he was supposed to enjoy it... But how could he enjoy a life of suffering and pain? Understanding, Kvasir realized he was probably talking about his family in Asgard and that made him feel even more pity for the boy. But he did not allow himself to feel sad!

"Look, you seem to be lonely. Don't feel bad about it but... I just want to ask you if you would like to come play with me or anything? I can show you the whole village! And my mom could give us something to eat too!"

"B-But... Why do you want to help me? I don't even know you..."

"It should be something usual! I mean, if we ever want to have peace we must bring peace to others, right? To make our brothers feel better... My parents always told me that even though..." Kvasir stopped, remembering Laufey should never know about such thoughts. Peace was something that didn't fit into his doings and if he knew about such a thing it would be obvious they wanted a better ruler. That would only end in destruction and now he had told that... To the son of the King himself! "But... Ahn, would you please don't tell that to anyone? I'm sorry, I just... If someone knows about that then my dad will have to pay and... And..."

"I won't tell anyone, I promise" Loki told him, feeling calmer. Kvasir reminded him of Thor... That brought a warm feeling to his heart. "I don't want to bother you, sir..."

"Don't call me sir! I told you, my name is Kvasir! Call me whatever you'd like except for sir or anything like that!"

"Can I call you... Can I call you Kva?" Loki asked, embarassed. He had merely known the boy but he felt such an urge to have someone he could count with. He shouldn't have asked such a thing, he shouldn't care for him, but the need he felt for was too strong... He just wanted someone to make him feel calmer, someone to take care of him. He felt lost and he wanted someone to tell him everything would be fine. Anyone would do it but Kva reminded him so much of a Thor that... He felt even more confused.

"Of course! Kva sounds fine to me!" The boy said and helped Loki get up. He was really taller but he was still a child, just as Loki and Thor were, and he smiled, realizing that, perhaps, these scars hadn't been gained during a training...

Hoirandí shaked away more thoughts as he saw Laufey leaving the village, followed by two of his men. Even though Loki wasn't of his concern, Hoirandí felt pity for the child and he sighed, thinking about his little boy once again. Far away, Laufey and his men reached their fortress under the violent storm that fell upon them. However, the inquietude still made his people question his goals and finally, after a long time, one of the warriors approached him, his doubts being the same as of the others.

"Your Majesty... He had been gone for three days. He knows of our plans, of our tactics... Don't you think it is dangerous for us to leave him next to someone as powerful as the Allfather?"

"We will not need to go after him..." Laufey said, in a cynical tone of voice "Soon enough, he shall return willingly."

"What makes you feel so sure of that, my lord?" The Jotun asked, unable to understand why a confident smile suddenly sprung from the lips of his King.

"Loki is noble," he said softly, as if this fact was exactly the key needed for the puzzle to be complete "He will not allow 'his people' to suffer. He shall return and he will fight for those who do not even care if he is alive or not... But his nobility... "

Laufey smiled even more openly. Staring to his right hand, his fingers closed tightly over his palm, he watched intently as a knife of ice came to be from his hand, sharp as the fangs of a wild animal, determined to tear through the one who had turned against its will.

"... His nobility will be the reason of his death. His nobility... Will be his end!" Finished the King of Jotunheim and, laughing gloatingly, played with the knife safe in his hand.


	15. Brother, my friend

**Once again, sorry for taking terribly long. "Thank you" for the ones who waited. "I hope you return" for those who left. This chapter is totally about Thor and Loki only - Because I think (And I believe you agree) they desserve sometime together. I'll try to write as fast as I can from now on but school os killing me so I can't promise anything. I hope you enjoy! :D**

* * *

Loki awoke with a sharp pain crushing his back.

He felt terribly lost. Upon opening his eyes, nothing could he see due to his vision once again blurred. An extreme tiredness took over of him, his body hair suddenly shivering. An abnormal heat made him sweat continuously, a strange sensation running through every muscle of his body. His eyes closed against his own will, leaving him nothing but fear. He felt himself gradually regaining consciousness, but the sudden pain on his back made him wish he wouldn't. Breathing hard, Loki moaned softly, unable to do anything else, his hand clinging to the bed. With no warning, an unknown hand approached his own and held it with affection, making him feel calm. Though he tried to open his eyes, Loki could not see who that was and so he just let himself relax, the pain gradually disappearing once again. After a few seconds, when the pain could no longer be felt, a very well known soft voice caught his attention.

"Little one?" The voice called in a worried tone. As if the mere sound of this voice gave him strength, Loki forced himself to open his eyes a little and so he smiled. "Brother," he whispered, seeing as Thor held himself not to cry after hearing his friend's voice once again. The Thunderer held his hand tightly, silently letting an emotional tear trickle down his face. Loki looked exhausted... He had lost too much blood during his last sojourn in Jotunheim and it was not possible to know how bad his stomach was since it had been superficially healed. His weariness and despair at that moment, however, could bring far more problems and Thor, no matter what the healers would do, felt worried. "He is under a spell, my Lord, lest he feel pain. Currently, he is unstable and unable to move, but this is merely the effect of the spell. Soon, he will be back to full consciousness"

"Thank you", thanked Thor, feeling slightly relieved, willing to wait as long as it was necessary. Long minutes passed before the Giant returned to his full consciousness and when he did so it felt impossible not to contain the smile on his face, Loki now fully awake and sitting on the bed.

"How do you feel?" Thor asked, not releasing his little brother's hand. Loki felt dizzy in a curious way, but he still felt better nonetheless. The huge wound on his back was almost healed and the reopened scar over his eye had stopped bleeding. It hurt Loki, however, to see his older brother with familiar dark circles under his eyes.

"Definitely better. How about you, my brother? I hope my coming here did not bring you chaos in some way ..."

"I have never been so well since you left" Thor replied, smiling honestly and in a comforting way, not letting concern shine in his eyes or in his words. "Our mother told me about your recovery and since then I have been waiting for you to wake up."

"I. .. I made you lose nights of rest, didn't I? I did not want you to suffer such pressure, Thor. Please forgive me."

"Loki ... There is not reason for you to worry about me, believe me. I... I just needed to listen to your voice once again." Were his words, words that reflected his affection for the one who had several reasons for rebelling against his home, his father, against Thor himself but that refused to do so. This one man, embarrassed, smiled warmly and words failed him to express what he felt. Instead, the exiled Jotun continued.

"Your voice is what keeps me alive, Odinson, my blessed friend. But I fear that this sudden shock suffered by you may bring you unnecessary worry. I am worried about you, Thor."

"Worried about me? Worried about me, an Asgardian healthily raised under the sun and the stars while you should worry about yourself, the Asgardian taken away from his home and left to live on nothing but darkness?" Thor whispered, confused.

"And even though you were raised under the light of the sun and the stars you did not hesitate to go to a cold and dark world searching for a single person..." Loki whispered, more to himself than anyone else, reflecting on all that had happened since the five Asgardian warriors stormed the fortress of Laufey. "Thor ..."

"Do not push yourself, little one. Do not cling to the memories that hurt you so much, at least not for a while." The older man smiled and said "Cling yourself to the present and to your stay here, for that means more than all of existence to me."

To see someone devote so much to him made Loki sigh, relieved, comforted, thrilled. He felt so useless bedridden, his legs strangely heavy and his whole body crying out for more rest. However, before any other thoughts related to his physical condition could fathom his mind, his attention turned to the son of Odin, who had restarted to speak.

"Oh, and I... I brought you something."

"Really? Frigga told me you had a surprise..."

"Indeed" Thor agreed, getting up and heading for the table where he had left something for Loki. "However, this is not "that" surprise although I hope you like it as much as I do."

When Loki's eyes fell over what Thor had brought him, it felt impossible to contain himself.

"No... No, you... I can't believe you did it, how did you-"

"I'll never forget how... How when we were both small, every night, we would ask our mother to bring us cookies and hot milk." Thor said, feeling comfortable remembering less chaotic times and placed the plate of cookies and milk next to the bed "Of course that was always an excuse to play together a little more before actually sleeping..." He continued, laughing, not realizing that Loki's eyes watered up "You were so small... And I remember hoe you always ended up sleeping in my bed after eating... I thought... I thought you should still like it, I do not know. This might seem childish, perhaps strange to you, b-but...".

"You made them?" Loki asked, examining a perfectly shaped cookie in his trembling hand, a kind of simple food but extremely odd to the one who lived most of his life eating nothing but meat. "I learned to make them as soon as possible after your departure." Thor replied, smiling all the time while lowering his head occasionally, overflowed by memories "I used to say that the first thing I would do when you returned home would be to offer you your favorite sweet. I must admit it took much longer than I expected... "

"B... Brother, what... What is that on your neck?" Loki asked as he saw what looked like a necklace around Thor's neck. As if something forced his attention into it, Loki focused on the object and as he saw Thor's reaction to his question he realized what it was.

"Oh, this... This is my lucky charm!" Thor said and, taking the necklace in his hand and consequently allowing the amulet in question not to remain hidden under his armor, let a thrilled sigh escape from his lips. Loki, on the other hand, felt his heart stop beating for a second and, gazing at the tiny wooden sword, let a silent tear freely run down his face. "I kept it close since my early years, waiting for you to return. You know, brother... Many times, I could swear that I could feel what you were feeling. Your pain, your sadness, your loneliness... To remember how you made me happy when we were together by looking at this gift was the only thing able to give me enough strength to move on. I-I ... "

Loki covered his mouth with one hand, trying to avoid the shaken cry that clenched his throat from escaping his lips. Realizing, Thor handed him the small object and allowed him to carefully observe his work made so many years ago, a tremulous smile on his face. "I swore to myself that I would never forget the one I love the most... I... I..." For a second, their gazes met in such a way that nothing else seemed to matter... And before they could prevent both threw themselves into the arms of each other and, between sobs and endless tears, Thor's words echoed mightily over the room.

"Oh, Loki, I-I missed you so m-much...!"

"I'm sorry! I'm s-so sorry, Thor, I'm so s-sorry for doubting y-you. P-Please, brother, forgive me, f-forgive me for thinking you had abandoned me. I am so sorry, p-please, forgive me...!" Sobbed the exiled Asgardian, his arms strongly closed around the body of his brother, the small wooden sword tightly held between his fingers so it would never be lost again. As a promise.

"I-I understand, Loki, I understand, it is alright, a-alright..." Thor whispered, slowly stroking the head of his best friend, relieved to have him in his arms again. Keeping him tightly close to his chest, it was as if their hearts once again beat at the same pace, as one, complete and healthy like all those years ago.

"Thank you, Thor, t-thank you for staying by my side for so many years... I-I'm so sorry. Oh, h-how I wish I could make you proud, how I wish I could be the one that would comfort you and not bring problems... "

"You never brought me problems, brother. You made me the happiest person of all the Nine Realms and you still do. I just ask that you allow yourself to rest. Focus not on your grim memories, but in your present, a present that I guarantee will be completely different from your past. Let me take care of you! "

Loki wanted to reject, he wanted to say Thor would be in danger, he wanted to prevent any harm from occurring to the one which cared so much for him. Although the Frost Giants had not come yet, Laufey could find a way to do so and Thor could suffer just as much as Kv... Looking down at the tiny sword held in his hand, the young man closed his eyes and tightened his arms around Thor, regretful for trying to forget the one who had always been his best friend. For some time, both remained that way, leaning on each other, resting under the protection of each other. Words quickly became unnecessary and the loving touch of both was able to bring calm to such stormy waves. After a long time, they allowed themselves to separate but remained together talking about peaceful and never worrying subjects. The cookies Thor had made were delicious and vanished in the blink of an eye - Just as the milk, no longer hot, but tasty nonetheless. They laughed like in old times and made jokes about each other, a feeling of pure tranquility hitting them. These brothers knew how intense this love can be and to have it back was enough for the God of Thunder and his "enemy" to establish peace. It was past noon when Thor decided to ask if he could take his brother for a ride. The healers, smiling, said he only had to watch his injuries but a little fresh air would do him good. It was the cue that Thor needed.

They walked slowly, Loki's body still weak, and approached the main gate, watching Asgard in all its glory. The sun shining strongly, giving life to that perfect world, brought with it the essence of the Realm Eternal and Loki smiled. He felt terribly out of place for being there, with a mere garment covering his body - A thin and white fabric, given to him during his stay in the Healing Room - while powerful armor gleamed in the body of the Asgardians. He was not ready to walk around Asgard, not for a while, and Thor knew that. He just wanted his friend to take some fresh air, to see people, to feel at home... In the inside, Loki was still a traumatized child and he needed help. He needed support, comfort. Thor felt a lump in his throat.

Try as he might disguise, it was clear that Loki was troubled. His arms crossed over his chest, he would gaze at the horizon, from one side to the other, a hint of worry in his tired eyes. He would look at people who were talking to each other in front of him. He would look at the happy children which ran across the lawn. He looked...

He looked at a little girl who watched him from afar, frightened. Loki turned his gaze away.

"Is something wrong?" Thor asked patiently. He did not want Loki to feel bad although he knew deep inside that it was inevitable. The giant didn't look back when he answered. "How... The Asgardians, how... You know, when you spoke to them... How... How did they react?"

Thor knew he would have to answer to that question. "I asked Sif and the Warriors Three to explain what was necessary to them until I was sure you were healed," he said with emphasis. "After I made sure of it, I told them myself that my brother from Jotunheim returned home. There's nothing to fear, brother. Nobody will harm you. They will accept you again."

"That doesn't answer my question, Thor..." Loki replied, embarrassed, and Thor understood, shakily. The little girl was still watching from afar, restless. It was as if she was there only to judge him, only to point her fingers at him and accuse him of... Of what he did not know. But her frightened stare reminded him of how he had always been watched over by young Jotuns as a child. Reminded him of how he had been treated by everyone he met. Reminded him of the day he had been locked in-

He shrank back, tightening his arms around his own body. "Loki, aren't you feeling well?" Asked the older Brother, worried, but Loki did not respond (He feared that if he tried to he would cry...). Not knowing what to do, Thor saw no choice but to answer to his question "They felt scared at first... They... They made several questions about your loyalty, but soon decided to give you a chance. Heimdall himself told all who searched him about how you saved my life"

They felt scared at first, of course. Just as much as he did when he was sent to an unknown world. Now, he was going through the same situation again and the people feared him. He feared the people. He feared himself and felt confused. So confused that he barely noticed when Sif, Hogun, Volstagg and Fandrall approached.

"My Prince" Sif greeted, bowing her head before Thor. "Loki," she added, smiling, and he smiled back sheepishly.

"It's good to see you on your feet, friend" Volstagg greeted him, striving to please the brothers. Thor had always been a great friend and he still remembered how Loki was close to them as a child. It was the least he could do. "We were worried about your health, despite the big guy here always being by your side!" He said, pointing to a smiling Thor.

"Thor knows how to be overprotective when he wants to" commented Fandrall, smiling as usual, gracious, glamorous. Loki smiled; he had not changed at all.

"How are you feeling, Loki? Thor told us about your injuries..." Sif said, straight to the point. The young lady was objective, Loki knew that, but the way she stared at his older brother was enough for him to know the state of mind of the God of Thunder. He remembered the day he broke his leg once again... How Thor was agitated, nervous, and how he begged his mother to help his younger brother soon. He could hardly imagine how desperate Thor felt the previous days.

"Much better, thank you, Lady" He thanked weakly. "I'm sorry for causing you problems"

"Problems?" Volstagg interfered, laughing "Loki, Loki, you are the one who **solves** the problems! Blame your brother for this mess! "

"Do not make me feel bad, Volstagg. There is nothing I wouldn't do to protect my little brother"Thor said, proud, and the Warriors Three widened their eyes. They had never heard Thor speak in such a way, so happy and not afraid to show his feelings. Volstagg laughed harder.

"Thor being sentimental? Há! Loki, what spell did you cast over this brother of yours?" Soon everyone was laughing like playful children. Another shiver ran through the magician's body and he sighed, uneasy.

"Do not worry, my friends," he said smiling "Soon everything will be back to normal. Everything will be back to its rightful place "

Of the five listeners, only Thor found this speech strange. He faked a smile, trying to understand what Loki intended to do. They spent a few minutes chatting - Loki could not take his eyes off the little girl who, even though playing in the distance, constantly turned around to look at him - until Thor decided it was about time the giant had some rest. He was still weak and the God of Thunder feared that he tried too hard.

"Thor, where are we going?" The Jotun asked as he realized they were going down another corridor, different from the one which led to the Healing Room.

"I want to show you something before I take you back..." He replied, mysterious, and smiled affectionately. For some reason, Loki felt his heart beat faster when going through that corridor, something familiar about it hitting him hard. With every step, every inhale and exhale, he felt... He felt he knew where he was going.

"That's what our mother told you about... The 'surprise', you know?" The older brother said, one of his hands guiding Loki. It was weird to be walking in there, along with his childhood best friend, holding hands as they always did when they were young. A happy Thor would take the hand of the youngest boy into his and would pull him hard, screaming the whole way about his newest discovery. This time, however, it was not necessary to say anything... They stopped in front of a wooden door, carefully carved with the majestic Asgard. "I know it's terrible to spend days in care without any comfort... So I thought you deserved a place where you could really rest and, who knows... A place to stay after you definitely leave the Healing Room... "

With a gentle touch, Thor opened the door ...

Loki felt his eyes water up as he looked into the room.

He gazed at the window, a large window decorated with a splendid curtain. In the walls, long shelves filled with books of various subjects, of the most varied colors. Next to the bed - a bed covered with a soft sheet and a green quilt - a bedside table and a chair and, in front of it, a wardrobe. Everything was arranged, adorned with his favorite color, his books arranged alphabetically in the shelves. The sun was pounding on the spot, illuminating everything with strength and returning life to the place. Mesmerized, Loki remained standing in the open doorway, his mouth ajar.

"It is yours" Thor whispered, moved, and gave him a gentle slap on the back, forcing him to enter the room. Barely able to stand on his feet, Loki looked around, studying every detail, feeling every representation of affection, remembering when Thor and he used to sleep together in this same room when they were children. Like a blind man who discovers the world through touch, Loki put his trembling hand on the bed - His bed, adorned with his favorite color - and closed his eyes, a wave of feelings to fall over him at once. He picked up one of the books carefully and realized it was from one of his many collections - Loki stared unbelieving to Thor, who nodded. Had the son of Odin kept all of his things for so long, just waiting for him to come back?

Before Loki could ask this question, however, he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and turned to his brother. "I hope you remember him," Thor said and, opening his palm,revealed a miniature of a wolf, his little wolf toy that always worked as their sidekick whenever they played together. Moved, Loki laughed, his eyes now bright red, and held the small animal in his trembling hands.

"Little Fenrir..." He whispered, his voice trembly "Y-you ..."

"Our mother once promised us a real puppy, remember?" Thor began, too thrilled and trying to keep his voice steady "But nobody would ever be able to replace our little Fenrir... You were the one to give him the name... I did not bring everything here because it would occupy too much space, but I kept all of our toys. You know, as a memory... Even thought we are grown up men now, I thought -"

And Thor's innocent excuses were interrupted by a shaken hug, the arms of the son of Laufey squeezing him tightly, his head lying on the chest of his older brother, the son of Odin. Without hesitation, Thor returned his touch and involved his little one in his arms, stroking his head, crying silently. There was so much to be done, so much to be said... And yet, they did not know how. They just needed each other like no one else; that was enough. Thor felt his friend's body trembling under his strong arms. "Shhh ..." he whispered, hugging him stronger. "I'll take care of you ..." He said, determined to regain his lost little brother, determined to end his nightmares, determined to bring life back to him. Loki's body still ached madly, his pain reminded him of his punishment, his memories bringing him nothing but despair. He was in the arms of his guardian again, under the arms of the one he loved the most, but he still could not forget... He could not...

"I-I n-need help..." The younger one whispered, frightened, defeated. How could he be loved if he wasn't even supposed to be here? How could he be loved by the one he had tried to hate on his youth? How could he be loved if he hated** himself**?

"I will help you, little one. Always" Thor whispered back, holding Loki's face with his hands, and smiling right after. "And... Loki" He fought against a bigger smile "You know I love you just the way you are, but... I still believe you look better like this."

Loki stared back at him, confused, until he looked at his ow hands. His eyes shot open and he looked at his chest, at his arms and back at Thor. His skin... "I'm... I'm like you" He said, lost. But Thor understood.

"Welcome to Asgard, little brother" He said and Loki laughed, his skin color once again the same as the Asgardian's. Just the way he had Always been. Just the way he was when he loved living, when he had a home... Perhaps... Perhaps he wasn't so different. Perhaps he could live in Asgard again. Perhaps... He let Thor bring him closer again, crying silently... But this time, these were tears of happiness.

"Welcome home, Loki"


End file.
